Anxiety attachment is a type of bond in which agitation, possessiveness and insecurity predominate, which is initially due to unresolved problems in this person who establishes this type of connection, however, there are times when this anxiety behavior is also triggered or maintained by the other partner.
Some say paranoid people can also be persecuted, and that’s more or less what happens in some cases of anxious attachment. There is a basic feeling of insecurity, but the person who feels it is not the same person who feeds or triggers it. In other words, one of the partners can fuel anxious attachment.
- It is not easy to distinguish a person with anxious attachment from another whose partner is evasive and triggers that anxiety.
- For the same reason.
- Many people in situations like this don’t answer the question: “Is it my insecurity that makes me anxious or is it my partner’s behavior?.
Anxiety can’t be avoided, but it can be reduced. The problem in managing anxiety is returning it to normal levels and then using this normal anxiety as a stimulus to increase perception, alertness and willingness to live. -Roll May-
Anxiety attachment, also called “ambivalent attachment,” is a form of bonding in which there is a great desire for intimacy with the couple. At the same time, however, there is a deep fear of losing that person. This feeling leads to an apprehensive interpretation of any manifestation, albeit minimal, of estification or rejection.
In fact, an anxious person interprets in this way many behaviors that do not involve estating or rejection, so a great distrust of the couple prevails and everything that is related to him, plus there is a disproportionate response to many behaviors.
In such cases, the couple’s response is very important, ideally they should adopt a global attitude and understand that this anxiety comes from deep insecurities and sometimes unresolved trauma, an anxious attached person needs more warmth and safety from their partner. she feels safe, anxiety will subside.
A person with an anxious attachment doesn’t need someone to deal with their insecurities and fears, yet they don’t need someone to put them in danger either, an elusive couple does just that. This even increases anxiety, reinforcing this kind of harmful attachment, although most of the time you don’t even realize it, you can also use it as a power mechanism.
An elusive companion is one who flees or silences in the face of conflict, it is also the one who seeks a quick solution to a problem, without really delving into what is going on, or the one who intellectualizes everything and does not ‘ Do not let his emotions emerge. Similarly, it can be someone who gets angry or angry when faced with the emotional expression of the couple.
Another characteristic of this type of person is their lack of emotional availability. It is very harmful for a person concerned about having a partner who does not want to be fully in a relationship and avoids commitment, insisting that they do not want “links”. It can also ridicule or minimize emotions. This type of behavior only creates insecurity in your partner.
It is often difficult to know if someone suffers from attachment from chronic anxiety and someone else cannot overcome this inappropriate behavior, or if there is someone with a normal attachment who, however, is anxious and insecure because the couple says and does things that pose unresolved conflicts.
To find out if what dominates your relationship is anxiety attachment or avoidance behavior because you feel uncomfortable, you should identify if you have any valid fears; for example, you may be afraid of:
You may have an elusive partner if any of these fears are present in your relationship. Other fears, such as the fear of losing your partner or the fear that they will stop loving you and falling in love with someone else, generally speak of a predominance of anxious attachment in their relationship, rather than an elusive couple.