The narcissist may seem charming from a distance, he may seem self-confident and even attentive when he has a goal in mind, however, there is something he almost never does, especially in relationships: apologise, suffer harm, repair mistakes.
Subject matter experts say this is due to an egocentric and dominant attitude, where there is not always a clear vision of empathy.
- In our friendships.
- Relationships.
- Between peers and family members.
- Disagreements and occasional disagreements are common.
- Sometimes.
- And almost without realizing it.
- We can offend and cause them harm.
- In such cases we do not hesitate to sincerely apologize for reconstruction.
- This bond and to learn from what happened.
- The goal is that it won’t happen again.
Thus, the stronger the social and emotional intelligence, the greater the willingness not only to apologize, but also to do so effectively, in these cases the skillful makes use of a clear emotional openness, a great sincerity and a real will of will. repair what happened.
But what about narcissists? Studies such as those conducted by Joost M. Leunissen and Constantine Sedikides of the University of Nottingham make it very clear that this type of profile does not always feel guilty for the transgressions committed.
Does that work, even if the person sits down? Socially pushed to take the first step to repair the situation, doing so provokes contradictions, resistances and even suffering that go against their own ego. Let’s look at more data on this below.
Masterson (1981) recalls that narcissistic personality is in a continuous line, this profile ranges from what is considered normal (where there is a more or less adequate regulation of self-esteem), to the already pathological extreme that defines narcissistic personality disorder.
In the latter case, these people must build and protect the image of a clearly oversized ‘I’. With this they manage to protect this weak and broken inner part: self-esteem, so they aspire to offer an image of high efficiency, perfection and divinity.
What happens when the narcissist commits a transgression?
What is really happening is simple: it cannot assume these deficiencies, which leads the narcissist to conflict with this image of perfection that he strives to maintain.
Andrew P. Morrison is a leading expert in narcissistic personality. Thus, in his introduction to the essential documents on narcissism, he points out that narcissists seek, above all, “mirror” people.
These dynamics, as you can well imagine, can be very damaging in relationships,
We know that apologizing is a step that the narcissist won’t do, but something even more complex and contradictory can happen.
So, and almost without realizing it, things change, we must not forget that people with narcissistic disorders are skilled manipulators, so we may very well apologize.
We’d better get back to what we were talking about at first. There are many types of narcissists; we are faced with a continuous line that goes from lowest to highest intensity, where it is worth mentioning, for example, psychopathic narcissists.
In this case, these are profiles that seem clearly normal and functional, but that are extremely effective in emotionally harming others.
In many cases, and depending on each subtype of narcissistic personality, we can achieve great advances and improvements.
So don’t give up hope. If you have a family member, partner, or friend with this trait, let them know the impact of their behavior and the need to seek help.