Recently, an ad was circulating on the Internet promoting an unusual product: pheromones-based perfumes. The ad said the perfume was 100% effective. ” Will members of the opposite sex go crazy for you?Why couldn’t anyone withstand the powerful effects of magic aroma?
It seems that the idea that love has more to do with biochemistry than with the symbolic world is very popular, the principle is also suspended in the air that the basic problem to be solved in love is that it is necessary to make the other always remain. Seduced, passionate or enchanted by us. Besides, some fantasy of?with our charms, not just one person, but many people of the opposite sex.
“Loveless sex is as empty and ridiculous as love without sex” – Hunter S. Thompson-
Today, a contradictory desire around love is gaining ground: to have many successive couples who feed our ego, our need for experimentation or our loneliness and, at the same time, leave a special place so that at any time it can be occupied by a being. . extraordinary, “the love of our lives”.
In this scenario, friends who enjoy benefits go like a glove, for the few who don’t know what it’s about, are the people of the opposite sex with those who have friendly relationships and in which there is occasional sex. Understand that just because they have sex doesn’t mean they have to stop being friends.
Agreements between friends with benefits have implicit rules that both must follow for this to work. Among the beneficiary friends is a basic “don’t fall in love” pact. No one wants to face compromises and, therefore, sex has its most fundamental part function: to satisfy a purely physical desire.
Another standard that both must meet, and the question of not falling in love?It depends, does not intimidate and does not interfere in any way in the personal life of the other person, that is, the benefits have a very specific limit. You have the right to touch, look, but don’t go far enough to allow the “friend” to require time, attention, or understanding.
The golden rule of friends with benefits, in any case, is the detachment from exclusivity. Each of the beneficiary friends can have any kind of relationship with another person. Under no circumstances should one be jealous or question the other’s right to terminate unilaterally. the link, when it deems it appropriate.
To the great disappointment of well-benefited friends and producers of perfumes based on feromon, the human brain is an extremely complex organ in which there can be no dissociation between body and affection or emotions, occupying the tip of the pyramid on the scale of evolution has its consequences, one is the impossibility of living a reality and not symbolizing it in the subjective realm.
There is no way that a human being who has sex with another person does not associate that experience with who he is, what he was and what it will be, nor is there any way that the other person who was part of that sexual relationship will become the representation of a piece of meat that is very easy to get rid of once the act is over.
Something like that always leaves a mark. An echo resonates, sometimes shyly, and speaks of self-affirmation or self-denial, expectations and fantasies, emotional needs and needs.
In particular, beneficial friendship seems to be an extreme resource of fear or despair, or both. Fear of love and the many possibilities of suffering that surround it.
Despair or refusal to expect more than ephemeral life experiences. Those who choose this kind of relationship are under the influence of an impossible desire: to touch the fire and not to burn.
For this reason, charitable friendships tend to go wrong, especially if the people involved are not genuine skeptics, but people who think they need nothing; or if one of them sees this kind of relationship as an opportunity to “move on as if he wanted nothing. “This usually doesn’t work. One of them is often injured or both end up fueling their insecurities and demanding neurotic efforts that only generate or increase confusion.