Difficult women receive this label because they stand in the way of conquering love. Tradition tells us that this attitude arouses the interest of men and that, for the same reason, there is nothing more ineffective than being an “easy woman”. does this legend have any truth?
First of all it should be noted that when it comes to conquering and the act of falling in love there are no fixed rules, we fall in love with someone, but without completing a list of reasons.
- On the other hand.
- At the flirtation stage.
- There seem to be patterns that are repeated relatively often and indicate that.
- In fact.
- Difficult women generate more interest.
- But not in all circumstances.
The question seems trivial, but there are researchers and academics who have taken the time to do it, rather than the search for the perfect recipe for realization, what has been explored is how we react to certain stimuli, in addition to the way in which romantic relationships are built.
Let’s see what science says about it
“Man’s fantasy is the woman’s best weapon. “- Sofia Loren-
In 1973, Dr. Elaine Walster of the University of Wisconsin (USA)U. S. ) You wanted to know if men were?Programmed? I’m more interested in difficult women.
What Walster and his collaborators did was hire a prostitute, choosing someone with this position would allow you to identify the details of the subject in the most basic situation possible.
He was asked to be reluctant to approach some of his clients and to ask others at random.
The result is that, in these circumstances, men appreciate them less and become less interested when women adopt a calm attitude, immediately losing interest.
The experiment was repeated with women who used the services of a dating agency and the conclusion was similar. The only difference was that, in this case, men showed greater interest in those who were selectively difficult, that is, difficult for others, but very accessible to them.
What these studies indicate is that this subtle difference has changed the attractiveness of attitude, both contexts corresponded to women available for a relationship, so it was illogical to impose obstacles to what they themselves sought.
There is the idea that what is achieved with more difficulty ends up being more valued. It has also been proven in social psychology that people value participation in groups that have difficulty entering.
In addition, men love challenges and therefore, if a woman “facilitates things”, the charm disappears.
Neuroscience indicates that not only men, but also women, appreciate challenges, which add an extra touch of charm to any situation.
Dr. Robert Weiss, vice president of Elements Behavioral Health, says men and women use strategies, more or less designed to challenge themselves during the flirtation phase, however, the techniques the two use are different.
Most commonly they play difficult girls, through behaviors such as pretending to lose interest, defer their answers and not always being available; instead, they prefer to take measures that make the woman they care about jealous.
One person who imposes barriers does not always intend to flirt, some people cannot help but put obstacles in this initial phase of flirting, they do so because they are very insecure and afraid of getting hurt, the other detects this fearful reluctance and usually reacts with walking away.
In addition, research published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology has indicated that the difficult paradigm of women only works when the other is very interested in women.
The difficulty of accessing it does not function as a trigger for desire, but it increases when there is a manifestation of pre-interest.
However, this interest has often not been exposed before and, in these situations, the difficulty of one or the other often results in a loss of momentum.
No one wants to try too hard to accomplish something they’re not sure they want. In these cases the opposite happens: approaching and being more available to the other ends up being the spark that ignites the fire.