We have one-night, a few-hour, a day or a month, nothing that compromises us, that makes us feel more than desire, nothing that means loving someone, showing feelings, tenderness and affection. Are we afraid of true love?
We invent all sorts of excuses to rely on the phrases “I don’t have time,” “I love my freedom,” “I want to be alone,” “I don’t want commitment,” what’s going on is that we’re afraid of ourselves.
- According to the psychologist Walter Riso.
- It is necessary to differentiate between good love (healthy.
- Coherent and constructive) and bad love (unhealthy.
- Incoherent.
- Destructive).
- True love always contains three elements.
- And if it is lacking.
- Suffering sooner or later will.
- Appear.
The three elements of true love are: Eros, Philia and Agape. Eros is sexual desire and manifests itself through possession and passion. This is the most selfish aspect of love. Philia is the friendship between the couple, who makes us transcend the Self, seeking to share. Agape is selfless love, tenderness and delicacy.
Over time, during sex, one element may prevail over another, but there must always be three. On this subject, it should be noted that several scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have discovered that love can endure over time.
Brain scans were performed on several couples who had been together for 20 years and others who had just begun their relationship. Scientists compared the results and found that one in ten mature couples had the same chemical reaction as the couples who had just started. shows that it is possible to maintain the same level of love, even over the years.
Being afraid of the new, what can make us suffer, paralyzes us and prevents us from discovering true love, it is obvious that some relationships work and others do not, and there is always a risk.
We live in a society where everything happens very quickly, we do not stop meeting people and moving from one relationship to another without letting ourselves be felt or enjoyed the pleasure of discovering someone, this is due to several causes, among which we can point out the following:
Starting a relationship makes us feel insecure and vulnerable because we expose ourselves to the other person and sometimes it is easier for us to undress our bodies than our souls, we feel a lack of control over what may happen in the future and that scares us.
We don’t know the other person, sometimes we suspect it, but meeting someone or having a relationship is always a risk taken by the two people who discover the the other. Saying what we feel or expressing our desires is important to lay the foundations for true love.
We have suffered complicated conditions and situations in a relationship, and over time we have managed to heal our hearts, however, when someone else appears, we relive that pain to some extent and remember what happened because we are afraid that it will happen again.
This background that represents our past sometimes prevents us from being ourselves with the person we know, and we show only part of our being, preventing the other person from knowing us and knowing who we really are and how we feel.
Many people identify love with suffering and therefore do not want to start a new relationship, so they flee when someone shows interest. It is essential to clear from our minds the limiting beliefs that prevent us from seeing reality and knowing love.
We are afraid of losing the other person, and that prevents us from having a healthy relationship, because we try to possess rather than love. This desire for possession can eventually deteriorate the relationship, create mistrust and alienate our partner.
Many people are afraid of having a relationship because they think having a partner means having to stay away from their friends. Combining the couple with friends should not be a complication, they can even be two facets that complement each other without further conflict.
The same goes for family. Many people think that starting a relationship means breaking ties with their family and are afraid that this will happen, so they are fleeing any commitment, if we overcome this belief and integrate all the important people into our lives, we will feel full and happy.