Sometimes we endure harmful situations and people for a long time, simply because we follow the little saying that “we have to put up with it when there is no other solution”. To think about it, today we’re going to share a story about boiled frog syndrome.
We cannot ignore the needs that we consider the most basic of many of us to subject our emotional well-being. It also often happens that we no longer think only of our well-being, but also of other people who depend on us. us one way or another.
- We can also endure a limiting situation for a long time because of emotional dependence.
- A destructive relationship or because we need an emotional culture to know what is normal and what is not.
Maybe you can endure situations until you burn, not even realizing the need to jump in time to save yourself, so we want you to know boiled frog syndrome, which was first described by Olivier Clerc.
Place a frog in a container filled with water and start heating the water. When the water temperature starts to rise, the frog adjusts its body temperature accordingly. The frog continues to adjust its body temperature as the water temperature increases.
Just as the water is about to reach the boiling point, it gets too hot and the frog can no longer adapt, that’s when it decides to jump. He tries, but he can’t do it because he’s lost all his strength by adjusting his body temperature. Soon, the frog is end-to-end.
What killed the frog?Think! I know a lot of people will say it was boiling water, but actually, what killed the frog was their own inability to decide when to jump.
We all need to adapt to people and situations, but we need to be sure when it’s time to adapt and move on. There are times when we have to deal with the situation and take appropriate action.
If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually, or mentally, they will continue to do so. We decided the right time to jump! Let’s jump while we still have the strength.
This metaphor has many meanings for different life situations, for our relationships, our work, our personality, our health behavior, etc. People engaged in a relationship that does not bring them well-being are constantly adapted to the wishes, opinions and resigns of their partners so as not to cause discomfort. They think they can take it or they have no choice but to.
However, usually staying on this path for a long time leads only to problems or limit situations, when we least expect it we will reach an extreme situation, we will not be able to stand and we will have to jump, flee or at least increase our estrangement from the situation or the relationship, but maybe we will already be very hurt.
We may no longer have the strength to deal with this last extreme situation that is happening because we have no energy, we have no escape, we have not thought of anything before or we have already been too damaged or injured to get out of this situation. and fall into another one that we don’t know will be worse.
Richard Lazarus has already highlighted the different ways to deal with stress and also indicated that there are two types of stress: daily stress and stressful life events.
We are often told that stressful life situations, such as divorces, death of loved ones, loss of home or work, will affect us a lot, and it may be so, but in the face of events as negative as these, we prepare our bodies and face the situation: “We jump in time”.
However, it is with stressful daily events (even more so when they last a long time) that we should worry more about, some of these events do not differ as negative for a long time, as is the case of abuse between couples, since sometimes we receive positive attitudes, other negative ones, other bearable ones. Thus, the discomfort is maintained, adjusted, until the situation becomes unbearable.
The best way to deal with that is to recognize it, that it’s not boycotting and saying it can be normal, if you feel bad in the same situation or with the same person for a long time, something’s wrong.
You have to jump. It’s not about running away, it’s about jumping, dealing with the situation and thinking about the solutions that exist, remember that whoever can take it too often rarely stops to try to change the situation, maybe the damage has already happened. already internalized, as in the case of boiled frog syndrome.