A one-sided relationship contradicts all the principles of what should be an emotional connection; it is the breakdown of reciprocity and the violation of perfect balance that should constitute the relational substrate; everything crumbles without a common commitment, without the spontaneous and authentic will of all to take care of the details of everyday life.
However, the most complex thing about this whole issue is how long it takes a person to realize it, after all, wear and tear occurs gradually, seemingly camouflaged by routine, the pressure imposed by work, and those external obligations that consume time at home and in love. At this point, the person finally realizes that there is no longer equity in the relationship, in fact, the other person can hardly be present.
- Your partner may be sitting next to you and yet you feel your coldness; It’s emotionally distant.
- This lack of affection and will is what constitutes unilateralism.
- It is a scenario in which a person contributes.
- Nourishes and strives to maintain the bond.
- Psychologists often define this type of dynamic as an unhealthy relationship.
- Read to find out.
- Why.
A unilateral couple could be defined in a very simple way: it is a couple in which a single member invests energy, will and time in the relationship, however, this is a much more complex reality, since the causes that favor this situation. can be multiple.
Sometimes people stay in a relationship where this dynamic has been present from the beginning, other times it is something that gradually appears. In any case, a unilateral relationship is unhealthy, it is a very harmful situation for those involved and for those who seek to overthrow and maintain it at all costs.
This explains why this can be considered a kind of unhealthy relationship, as the emotional and psychological burden that creates a single part to maintain the bond is often devastating.
Then you’ll learn to identify if you’re in that relationship
Dr. John Gottman is a great connoisseur of emotional relationships and their most common dynamics. Your studies spanned decades and your research on the call?Love lab? He helped hundreds of people save their relationships or get out of them.
One of his best-known books is undoubtedly Seven Principles for Marriage Work, in which something is emphasized: the need to reach agreements, if this does not happen and it is always one of the members who finally surrenders, the one who accepts and remains silent, who prioritizes the other to save the relationship, something inevitable happens : the relationship finally breaks down.
If the balance is always tilted in the same way, the other person will suffer a slow emotional asphyxiation in which self-esteem, dignity and even health deteriorate, a very common situation in a unilateral relationship.
One of the common features of such links is the feeling of emptiness, something is always missing. It’s like being thirsty and never feeling satisfied, your partner can be by your side and you can even talk to him and do things with him, yet something’s wrong. Of course, one person may need more than the other can give, but unilateral relationships are more dynamic.
This something is an emotional block. Try to express your feelings, thoughts and needs to your partner and feel like you’re talking to a wall. You may have heard, “Isn’t this the right time to talk about it?”Do you always complain about the same thing, “What do you want from me?”Or “What do I have to answer?” These are the most common reactions, however, when your partner needs your support or affection, do not hesitate to respond and meet their needs as quickly as possible.
If you have to pay something, you usually pay, that’s what is expected of you, the same happens when you have to solve a problem, etc. , this scenario establishes a one-sided relationship. a passive part and a proactive party that ends up striving to face everything, any daily task or any challenge that comes your way.
Besides, you must not protest or complain because after all you are doing your duty, let us be clear: the relationship ceases to be healthy when one of us takes this kind of thing for granted and does not recognize what the other is. Nor is it healthy for any of you to always take on a particular task or an unforeseen event. This kind of scenario is basically a fatal blow to any relationship.
There are many? Red flags? In this type of relationship, even if you refuse to accept them, the reason why this happens is simple: you have invested a lot of effort, time and emotions and you do not want to give up, so you give more opportunities as well as love, dedication and patience, hoping that something change.
However, of course, nothing changes. There’s even mental and physical fatigue. The person flows in almost every way, psychologically and often even economically. It cannot be forgotten that there are unilateral relations in which the link is based solely on self-interest.
Of course, every couple is a world, but there is a basic principle that should never fail: love involves balance and reciprocity, it’s about being a team, joining forces. Besides, it’s about taking care of us and maintaining the relationship, when it doesn’t, everything collapses.