Size, health, kindness, sense of humor, beauty, money, power . . . all are answers to the question: “Why am I attracted to a certain person?”
“Falling in love is being enchanted by something, and something can only enchant if it’s or seems perfect?
José Ortega y Gasset
When someone attracts us, we generally don’t ask why we’re attracted to them, nor do we discuss possible reasons internally, it just happens: we like to be with that person and we try to realize our desire to stay with them.
The classical laws of attraction, according to social psychology, are based on four basic principles: similarity, proximity, reciprocity and increased attraction in conditions of anxiety and stress.
Other factors we find on the road to love are physical attraction, similarity and familiarity. Empirical evidence of the late twentieth century showed that beauty determined our appreciation for others.
Similarity is also another pillar based on shared beliefs and attitudes. According to Byrne and Clore, when we show that others share our point of view and characteristics, we feel more secure in our positions. We are no longer alone; others support us because they think and are like us.
Familiarity is also important. According to researchers Monge and Kirste, the greater the familiarity, the more we identify with the partner.
We can count on clinical psychologist Mila Cahue, who summarizes the complexity of these processes and then says to himself:
“There is a strong mental variable. There are no fixed rules that identify why we are attracted to someone. Do the genetic factors of sentimental learning come into play?
A significant part of these new forms of attraction may occur through complicity with new technologies, as they open up new avenues and forms of communication.
Technology allows us to expand the range of connections and connect with people of different profiles that enrich and attract us. The constant exchange of information releases these changes in the development of personal relationships.
However, new technologies may not play such a relevant role. The stories of students in love with their university professors, apprentices in love with their professional mentors and listeners in love with broadcasters were already part of everyday life long before the emergence of the term sapiosexual. .
The main characteristic of sapiosexuais is erotic attraction and excitement by the intelligence of others, this does not mean that the physical appearance, emotions, similarity and reciprocity are not valued, but above all the quality of the conversation, the complexity of knowledge. or the specialization of the person into something interesting.
What distinguishes these people from others? Personality psychologists point to a high-level personality trait called “openness to experience. “
This corresponds to curious, imaginative and open-minded people. In general, they enjoy art and like to hear innovative ideas.
The sapiosexales have been studied little. In fact, there are opinions that emphasize that attracting an intelligent person is based on the ability that you are supposed to have more resources or a better career.
This new form of sexuality seems to alter in some way the patterns, since the psychological variable comes into play, directly confronted with the theories of evolutionary themes or biologists.
These classic sociobiological tendencies speak of the power of attraction marked by a simply perpetual tendency, i. e. men tend to choose women with attributes associated with motherhood and immaturity (small nose, large breasts, large hips and large eyes and mouth).
On the other hand, women look for characteristic features of dominance or care for their offspring (large jaw, muscle strength or tendency to help others).
It is clear that the criteria for finding the partner marked by health and survival have become obsolete, so new scientific trends are emerging that transform conventional hypotheses at the pace of current times.
ET?How do sapiosexuals develop?How do you recognize them?We can set as standard the search for surprise in a good dialogue, avoiding common themes and focusing on topics such as philosophy, physics, art or literature, this intellectual stimulation will result in sexual activation and arousal.
Heterosexuals, homosexuals, metrosexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, sapiosexuals . . . the parameters that mark passion, sexual attraction or absence are not yet clear.
Psychologists should continue to collect experiences about relationship patterns, the factors that influence them, and the individual processes of each human being.
Times have changed, that’s a fact. What happened between two people and which was categorized as incomprehensible or difficult to explain, is now established as another way to feel and fall in love.