Armor is the symbol of the people who have suffered a lot, the protection they have chosen so as not to hurt themselves again and eventually break, are your security mechanism, your momentary salvation, how to caress the soul of these people?
Living in armor is not easy because behind it is the fear of being hurt, it is one of the most overwhelming fears that a person who impels her to create walls, hold her heart and live under anesthesia can have. Life gets tired and wears out to the point where they prefer to protect themselves and stop feeling as much as possible rather than risking reliving the burn of their wounds.
- Without a doubt.
- His armor protects him from people who want to destroy him.
- However.
- If you don’t let go.
- He’ll isolate you from people who might love you.
- Richard Bach?.
Life is not a path that guarantees happiness, uncertainty, instability and suffering are the conditions of your way, and we will do better to face them if we are able to anticipate and be prepared, no one is safe from suffering, so we are. It is essential that we learn how to handle it. Otherwise, darkness can devour us.
To live is to face risks, to accept that not always everything goes as we want, to embrace moments of happiness, but also to accept that suffering knocks occasionally on our doorstep and tests us.
Treating blows and healing wounds is no easy task, we don’t always have the best support, the best resources or the best strategies and even when we have them, sometimes we don’t know how to use them. those who are better off in the face of disappointment and the unexpected, those who let them seize their moods and those who decide to protect themselves to limit their suffering. The chosen method will influence your daily life in one way or another.
No matter how we face suffering, when it decides to stay with us, it generates a series of consequences, both physical and emotional, on the one hand, it holds us back in its reluctance, its demotivation and its absolute pleasure (anhedonia). ), which if not evaluated can change our path towards depression or anxiety; on the other hand, it exhausts us physically, it exhausts us, it exhausts all the energy we have; in fact, at deep levels, it decreases the release of serotonin and increases the amount of cortisol.
Each of us has its own armor, our own defense mechanism, our personal shield to protect us from pain. That’s normal. One way or another, we must protect our most delicate part and become strong in the face of threats and setbacks.
The problem arises when these armors cannot be destroyed, that is, they take over our lives and we end up turning them into a very conservative filter through which to observe the world, walls that rise and isolate us, not only from suffering and uncertainty, but also from affection and all social experience.
In an attempt to protect ourselves, we end up boycotting ourselves in such a way that we block ourselves emotionally. He doesn’t feel, he doesn’t suffer, it’s a bad strategy that we repeat because at some point he assured our survival.
Look, because when we use it we pay the high price: we’re empty inside, they’re the fine print of the contract that we don’t always read.
On the other hand, this emptiness translates into the absence of emotions, the ability to feel alive and to connect, so it is not uncommon for us to end up falling prey to what we feared so much: suffering itself.
Armor is an unconscious trap that binds us to discomfort disguised as feelings of protection and safety, so it is so important to identify and reflect on what our defense mechanisms are.
“It takes more courage to face suffering than to die. “Marlene Dietrich?
Often, those hiding under armor often abuse a defensive attitude that ends up outperfiding others, their fear of harming themselves is so great that, even if they do not wish, they divert all who approach them with no intention other than to know them and, in some cases, to love them, because those who protect themselves so harshly are also victims of a loving crack , generated by past experience.
Thus, in order not to revive the sting of their wounds, they become as angry as some animals when they protect their territory, the other, any other, becomes your enemy.
What’s the antidote to reverse so much damage?What is the cure for breaking the armor of those who have endured so much suffering?How can we help them get rid of such a fate? First of all, it is important to say that the armor is gradually released, it is a process that requires a dose of love, understanding, patience, acceptance and, of course, effort.
As we have seen, there are no magic solutions, only the depth of the connection with the other person and with oneself, so whoever relates to a person protected by a shell must understand that most of the time it is not he who speaks, but his fear, that immense monster that has them and makes them believe that anesthesia is the best way to face life to end suffering.
Understanding your fears is a very important part of the relationship, in addition to showing affection and abandoning demanding attitudes to improve, that is, it is necessary to learn to caress the soul, to touch its sensitivity and to make it feel welcome.
Now the greatest effort comes from those who built the armor, this person is the one who must understand that avoiding suffering in the medium and long term makes them suffer even more, although life is not always easy, suffering is one more chapter that we must integrate into our history, for this we must get rid of guilt and that hard and rigid attitude of embracing and taking a step towards love , because there is nothing more healing than to receive us when we are wounded.
“People comb their hair every day, why don’t you fix your heart?Chinese proverb?