Perfectionists feel more frustration than others because everything has to be impeccable and perfect, pay attention to detail, have organizational mania, responsibility and extreme dedication to tasks, the purpose of this article is to eliminate perfectionism, or at least decrease it a little. You can’t live happily and peacefully if your level of demand is too high. Here are four techniques that can help you.
It’s an interesting and fun exercise. You don’t need to change your “way of being” but to do certain tasks that aren’t as important in a more relaxed way, without so much perfectionism. For example, if you have so far cooked perfectly, attentive to all the details, even for the service, it is time to relax.
- Why should the omelette be perfect? If it is irregular or broken nothing will happen.
- The taste will be the same and you will have the opportunity to realize that happiness is not measured by the things you do right or wrong.
- But by the pleasure of doing it.
- The important thing is the beauty and not the taste of the omelette.
- You are a slave to perfectionism.
Another example is the relationship of the woman with makeup, many women can not leave the house if they are not impeccably on: makeup, eyeliner and mascara and lipstick to highlight their lips, without this makeup routine they do not. You’re not feeling well. Exercise can remove some of this makeup for a day. What if, just for today, don’t wear eyeliner?What can happen?
We don’t have to worry so much about appearance; People who love us accept us with or without makeup. Those who do not accept us and criticize us must stay away from our lives. Even if you think you have to look good to be valued, you’re actually the one who doesn’t approve. People like us for who we are; The problem is with you and not with others. If you accept yourself, others will accept you too. Everyone has to look at what aspects of their life they act on with perfectionism and change their behavior.
If you didn’t leave the house before if everything wasn’t in order, go now; If you used makeup even to go to the beach, don’t wear it anymore; if you used to hide from your neighbors because you thought you didn’t look good, now go talk to them and act naturally. Who’s never had fun looking at a photo album?If you want to put a photo on the wall, you take the measurements to the millimeter to make it perfect, now choose by intuition, the result can be very good.
If you clean the house every day, go out and do other tasks, let yourself leave certain things in place and you will see that nothing bad happens, you will be happier and have more free time to dedicate yourself to your leisure activities. All these examples that we propose here must be done with common sense and balance; extremes are very harmful. We must not be perfectionists or too relaxed.
When they make mistakes, perfectionists ruminate their thoughts; they don’t accept the mistake and think they could have done better. In many situations, we can’t go back, so forget it and move on. Remember, error is a past. There is no point in suffering it; nothing’s going to change. Know that with this error, you’ll do better next time.
The perfectionist usually focuses on defects and how to improve. Change your attention to? Improve and perfect to feel and appreciate the situation. Feelings and emotions are more important than the pursuit of perfection.
Perfectionists are very detailed. This always makes them see the flaws, because perfection does not exist. If we stop to take a closer look, we’ll always find something wrong. Learn to look at everything; this will help eliminate perfectionism. How to look at things in general? Look at the main content, not the details.
For example, imagine a painting exhibition. Ideally, you can appreciate the work as a whole, look at the image at a suitable distance and appreciate the content of the painting, in this situation a perfectionist wants to look and see the details of the work. Details such as excess paint, imperfections in the frame, etc. Nothing escapes your critical eye. In this way the most important thing is lost: to appreciate the work as a whole and to understand the message of the artist.
Details are not important. To eliminate perfectionism, omit the small details and focus on the work of art. It does not matter if the image has defects, if the frame has scratches; the important thing is to appreciate the painting.
Perfectionists are always dissatisfied and have very little value for life. Your negative emotional state doesn’t allow you to look at the essentials. As the little prince said, “the essential is invisible to the eyes. “
Happier people are not perfectionists, they know that nothing is perfect and that we are here to enjoy and learn new things, we are not perfect machines, but evolving human beings.
As psychologist David Burns said: “As they try to reach the stars, perfectionists may end up chasing the wind. “