Equity is at the heart of most of the relationships we have; on the other hand, we all know that total equity is a utopia; it is never possible to strike a perfect balance between what is given or what is received and to ensure that, when it is in our hands, we receive more than we deserve or need; however, when what prevails is clear asymmetric reciprocity, there is a great deterioration of many links.
We all know one or more people who give everything for others, who share everything they have, people who, despite all they give, have a hard time responding in the same way, it is also reasonable that it is impossible to establish total equality in what each delivers. Nor is it desirable to do so: it would have more to do with calculus than with spontaneity.
- On the other hand.
- The concept of? To give? It is very broad.
- This means giving other material or spiritual goods.
- Within them are affection.
- Time.
- Listening.
- Etc.
- If asymmetric reciprocity prevails.
- It is common for one of the parties to feel comfortable receiving and makes no effort to match.
- An attitude that becomes particularly critical in relationships.
“To allow injustice is to pave the way for all who follow. “Willy Brandt
One wonders why relationships are sometimes formed in which this asymmetric reciprocity is installed, most commonly this phenomenon is the result of two types of situations, in both cases the idea is constructed that one actor has a greater capacity, or has a higher duty, in relation to the other or the other.
The first situation occurs when there is a person who has some kind of special force. For example, he has more problem-solving skills, more knowledge, or is simply stronger emotionally than those around him. This special virtue ends up acting against this person. The others expect her to solve, orient, etc. , with nothing to compensate for her contribution or wear and tear.
This kind of situation sometimes extends to state action. This is called “welfare. ” It is based on the idea that a person, having some kind of vulnerability, does not need to match what is attributed to him, although there are situations in which this asymmetric reciprocity is justified, it applies only in very specific circumstances and temporarily. Base.
The second situation in which asymmetric reciprocity is usually configured is the opposite of the previous one, this happens when a party is despised or stripped of its dignity, so the idea is that it has to give everything in return for very little, because somehow its needs are less important than those of others.
This is what has happened throughout history with enslaved peoples, ideas have been forged that because they have a certain skin color or because they belong to a certain culture there is no right, in those cases the subject should not give anything most of all, without expecting anything in return.
This also occurs in many human relationships, especially in family or partner relationships. We have established the idea that the most fragile or vulnerable party has more obligations than the other or the other. Those who have not studied a profession should serve those who do so. Or we imagine that the one who is most inseurgized must submit to others to be accepted.
Although, one way or another, there is always an asymmetrical reciprocity in human relationships, when it is disproportionate it has very harmful effects for those involved, in the end it generates unfair and harmful conditions, unfair because one person ends up being the instrument of the other, and harmful because this lack of reciprocity is a form of violence, which also generates violence.
In all cases, including the state one, those who are forced to give without receiving are exploited. This apparent equilibrium may remain relatively stable for some time, but sooner or later it will generate growing discontent, which often ends up breaking the false reality. balance.
For those who dominate, in all cases, asymmetric reciprocity doesn’t bring much either, you can have the domain or rely on someone else’s free good offices, but it also degrades you and sometimes renders you useless, plus it puts you in a state of need. What would become of the master without his slave, what remains of the one who dominates when he no longer has his own?