A bad service is a help that actually pretends to be a favor, but ends up being a problem, let’s go a little further.
Sometimes, without asking, we receive help from others, seemingly altruistic or unexpected, it fills us with joy and gratitude to them who, with their favors, give us transformative power.
- Of course.
- These situations can go unnoticed in a world of constant demands and demands with tight deadlines.
- So we can forget to be grateful enough.
- Especially with those who.
- Without attracting attention.
- Move the winds in favor.
- Not against us.
Lack of gratitude can be due to cognitive distortion, which makes the negative more important than the positive. Selective abstraction or selective filtering is a distortion of thought that makes you feel that the negative is more relevant and present than the positive.
However, just as we are generally not grateful enough, we may not pay enough attention to events that intentionally or don’t lead us to situations we don’t like.
Life is not a mathematically perfect algorithm. Therefore, actions or circumstances that, in principle, benefit us, can end up harming, most of the time the results are unintentional and can in fact be a weak favour, which is an obstacle to the achievement of our objectives.
On another level, mental filters are different lenses through which we transmit the information we receive or the thoughts we generate, we have them all and we have created them from the experiences we have, usually unconsciously, mental filters and cognitive distortions will mediate our recognition or not in the face of certain favors, requested or offered.
On other occasions, and to our subsequent astonishment, some of the bad services come from a malevolent attitude and also become a favor for the person who “wants to help us”.
These situations often involve a condescending attitude. On the other hand, they can have as a unique and exclusive motivation the benefit of those who propose it, so bad services can be a double-edged sword.
Condescension arises when a feeling of superiority is mixed with a kindness misunderstood by the person who is supposed to benefit, is it that someone condescended us, disguises him with a favor?That we didn’t even ask? And that the consequences are harmful.
To avoid such situations, which are far from a valuable aid to the recipient, it is important to maintain a certain critical sense of the offers we receive, even if the intention is to help. On the other hand, if the damage has already occurred, we can do the following.
We may consider the following guidelines
After all, we are human and, like it or not, we all make mistakes; In this sense, humanism opens the door to compassion and forgiveness. It’s also important to remember that many bad services, including those with ulterior motives or malicious intent, happen out of ignorance.
“Father, forgive them, because they don’t know what they’re doing. ” Luke 23: 34-
When we talk about favor, the perfect favor, we usually mean a selfless, well-intentioned and interesting act on the part of the recipient, however, today it seems that a favor must be reciprocal, motivating people to do so for a while. pseudo-reciprocal right.
Thus, if it is not returned, the favor sometimes acquires a false debt character, with the inevitable negative consequences that this represents for the favored assumptions, which inevitably already renders a disaggout favour to the recipient.
In addition, not doing the favor sometimes puts the recipient in a lower position, which is nothing more than a projection, which generates an illusory market of favors and debts, which can lead to negative feelings or resentments, especially if he?Generous?don’t get a refund.
By social conception, the favor is altruistic and selfless, yet what favors do not seem interested in the beginning?And they are? Under a condescending attitude? When we don’t need it, they’re more likely not to serve us. especially in unexpected situations where it may seem like we’re getting a favor, think twice.
The chain of favor is an idea opposed to the commercial idea of favor, this implies that we can all be altruistic, so if we favor someone without expecting anything in return, another will do the same to us.