Each of us is unique and irreplaceable. No personality is the same. We all have a different way of feeling, acting, thinking and making decisions. A combination of genetic and environmental variables – our past history, our experiences and context, among others – determine how we are. What does it mean to be different?
Being different can be perceived as positive or negative depending on the stage of life and the moment of development in which we find ourselves.
- Although we are different.
- There are times in life when we strive to look as much as possible to others.
- However.
- There are other times when differentiating ourselves from others is critical to proper psychic development.
- Do you consider yourself different?.
Psychologist Margaret Mahler has developed a model of evolutionary steps: after the symbiotic phase, in which the child cannot yet understand himself as a different being from his mother, he moves on to the phase of separation-individualization, a decisive phase for the acquisition of one’s identity, to be understood as a unique being.
In this phase two processes occur (those that give name to this stage of development): separation is the process by which the child achieves an intrapsiquic distinction of the mother, while the process of individualization is the feeling of being, from which the child assumes his own individual characteristics.
On the other hand, René Spitz describes the organizers of the childish psyche: the smile, the anguish in front of the stranger and the “no”. The two years feared. As uncomfortable this phase of constant opposition is, it is a necessary step for the maturation and development of the child.
This constant denial is because the child begins to identify as different and independent, this is necessary for the child to begin to be conscious as being individual, somehow this also happens with adolescents.
“Don’t let the limited perceptions of others define you” – Virginia Satir-
Adolescence is a stage of life in which we pay special attention to our peers. There is a fear of difference that is not accepted or discriminated against. This is a stage in which inclusion in the group is one of the main motivations; in general, this greatly influences how teens shape their image of themselves.
Despite this, teenagers live constantly with the illusion that they are unique, which is called personal fable. David Elkind described this process as the teen’s feeling of being unique or different from others, leading him to believe that his thoughts and beliefs are different from others.
Elkind described another phenomenon that may also be related to the emphasis placed on not being or being different, is the imaginary public, an intense concern for the image that the young man projects to others, the image that others make of him. who are constantly being monitored by other people.
Faced with the feeling of being constantly analyzed, many of them, especially those with low self-esteem or a precarious self-image, are expected to do their best to go unnoticed, to be common, not to be different, because they are different. can be perceived negatively and provoke rejection behaviors on the part of their peers.
“Whenever you’re on the side of most, it’s time to pause and think. -Marc Twain-
Sometimes, when we are young, we also feel the need to be different, showing that particular part of the identity being formed is one of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves and others, because it is the greatest demonstration of sincerity and increases creativity and facilitates decision-making.
Being different allows you to appreciate diversity more and adapt to it, which makes it more flexible and open.
Defending your own ideas, even if they are different from others, allows you to grow and develop by being true to your principles and with a high self-esteem and self-confidence, being unique is a gift and, as such, you have to learn to appreciate it This is one of the greatest virtues that a person can have.
“The person who follows the crowd does not usually go beyond the crowd. Who walks alone will probably get to places no one’s been before?-Albert Einstein-