Behind every happy person, she fights everything to keep it that way. Behind all who smile for life, he fights against the wind and tide to overcome difficulties, challenges and fears. Because happiness is not a key to finding, it is an attitude of non-abandonment, commitment, vitality and above all resilience.
We know this sounds a bit stoic, but saying out loud “Is life not easy?” Provide concrete evidence that many will agree with. That is perhaps why one of the most classical representatives of this school, the Greek philosopher Epithetus, left us a teaching around the 130th century AD. that does not leave us indifferent and that corresponds perfectly with the social and psychological reality in which we live today.
- “Happiness is inner.
- Not outward; therefore.
- It does not depend on what we have.
- But on who we are.
- -Henry Van Dyke-.
When we have no control over the things around us? said the Greek philosopher, we are obliged to focus on the aspects we can control, which we can make our own: the thoughts that inhabit our minds. Only when we move away from the negative, thoughts will we find lucidity, inner calm, peace and even freedom.
This idea must make us understand something very simple, very basic: every time we meet someone who, at first glance, seems to have the secret of happiness in his hands and in the brightness of his eyes, we should not be wrong. magic, there’s no magic, and these people don’t have anything we want to envy either.
Behind a happy person is someone who struggles, someone who does a deep inner work every day to end limiting attitudes and ignite their own strength, are profiles that cross their comfort zone daily, who have learned a lesson from each difficulty, and who, despite all the regrets, continues to live life with hope?
If you’ve ever heard the classic phrase that it takes very little to be happy in life, you should know that they were wrong, because we need a lot, but a lot of so-called ‘internal work’. , motivational and emotional architecture is not acquired overnight.
If throughout our lives we have been educated within the framework of the pattern in which happiness is associated with the accumulation of things, goods and social relationships, it is likely that when we do not achieve this goal, we feel desolation, helplessness and unhappiness. .
Oliver Bukerman is one of the best known current authors on the subject to help us be happy. Its objective is undoubtedly one of the most innovative in the publishing market. With his book “Anti-Self-Help Manual: Happiness for those who can” “Think Positive”, he invites us to put aside the classic goal of Martin Seligman. Something like this is justified by an idea that many of us will agree with.
A large part of the books of mutual help remind us of the need to cultivate our positive side, to strive to always seek the good side of life to draw it to us, to always think of the best so that this path appears before our feet. .
Oliver Bukerman explains that these ideas, after all, exhaust us and can even be counterproductive. The economic climate, combined with political and environmental insecurity, means that it is often sufficient to have hope and to nurture a positive attitude.
Bukerman’s book raises the need to assume, first of all, that life is difficult and that good people also suffer from bad things, and that sometimes it is not enough to fight for something to succeed. Adversity is present, like a creature around us and, almost not knowing how, it throws himself at us when we least expect it.
Being positive is good, but being able to handle the negative is imperative, should we be able to accept failure?And get out of it? And face it? And understand that life is a constant change.
We already know that to achieve this internal well-being you have to ”a lot”: we must be managers of negative emotions, architects of realistic goals in a complex world, builders to overcome when adversity arises, and daily survivors of all the challenges that fate puts in our way.
“Human happiness is not usually achieved with great strokes of luck, which can happen many times, but with small things that happen every day. ” – Benjamin Franklin-
It is clear that no one has trained us for this and that this art of overcoming ourselves is not learned overnight, so and before we sink into despair of not knowing what to do to act in the same way as happy people, it will be good to reflect on these dimensions. These are simple strategies and approaches that we can make our own:
Finally, and strange as it may seem, something that can help you at some point when problems outweigh you and you can’t find a cognitive solution to solve this maze is to take a walk. Exercise is helpful when we only see walls on the horizon. After all, it’s another simple, inexpensive and affordable way to learn to be happy.