Do you know anyone you can define as a coward, what are the reasons why you define this person as such, is it possible to justify the way they act?At work, as a family, in a group of friends . . . we all have close someone we can call coward, the coward is one of the essential characteristics of the human being, it is widespread, easily identifiable in others, but unrecognized. and this can be surprising, in some cases it remains an adaptive strategy for us.
On several occasions, we all look back and face a question: what would have been the result if we had acted differently at some point, and in analyzing, we see that cowardice is behind many of our ‘and if’. hand in hand with fear and conformity. They’re inseparable. If there is no fear behind that, it is not cowardice; perhaps indifference or laziness, but it did not cowardice. It is possible to be a coward in various dimensions of this aspect. Emotionally, behaviorally or even at the thought level.
“Cowards are the ones behind the rules. – Jean Paul Sartre-
There are many ways to show cowardice. The most obvious is the one perceived in behaviors. Beyond what we can feel or think about, there are times when the situation demands our action and we do not act. It’s a reflection of “Don’t we react?” Because of the closure, because of the insecurity, we can put in a thousand justifications. It is the most well-known and visible form of cowardice, we can recognize in others or ourselves several moments when we do not say “I love you”, “leave me alone”, “no, it is your job, do it”. yourself”
How many times have we taken thoughts out of our minds so we don’t think about it?We can also be cowards of thought, there may be an idea, a situation or even a memory that annoys or frightens us and that we reject. We don’t even wonder why we know you can tie a knot in our stomachs or speed up your breathing. When we’re asked to talk about it, we run away, change the subject, or show forced indifference.
“A coward is a person in which the instinct for self-preservation still works normally. -Ambrose Bierce-
And finally, the emotional coward. Don’t sit down so you don’t suffer, running away from your emotions is the solution for many people, they understand an emotion as a complication. People who get carried away by emotions do not understand them, but behind those fleeing feelings of fear, sadness, affection, anger, there are specific reasons, which may be related to difficulties of recognition, expression and empathy in childhood or adolescence. bad experiences in adulthood, and even fear of losing control of impulses.
Whether we are cowards or if we are someone we know, the feeling of cowardice is of misunderstanding, disappointment and even anger. Why are these people behaving like this?For brave and cowardly the answer is the same, a fundamental modulator of our value is related to the quantity and quality of the tools and personal training we possess and perform.
“It is obvious that there are only two types of cowards: those who flee backwards and those who flee forward. -Ernesto Mallo-
Fear is an emotion shared by all, yet cowardice is an attitude: the position we take in the face of this fear. In addition, it is possible to act even in fear. It’s logical and human. The tools with which we learn to manage our emotions to respond in a balanced way or implement reflection strategies to solve problems, generate alternatives, will guide our behavior in one way or another.
Therefore, cowardice is something we will have to deal with, whether in relation to ourselves or others, we would do well to trust empathy, trying to understand (not necessarily safeguard) the reasons that led us to be cowards. , develop tools to learn, listen to others, reflect, share your fears and practice.
At work, in personal relationships or even in an activity that you know you’re very afraid of. . . to fight cowardice. Start with the idea that black and white doesn’t exist, the?All or nothing? are exceptions and not the rule. There are degrees to move slowly forward and leave behind that feeling of thinking, acting or being overwhelmed by cowardice.