You’ve certainly heard many times about consistency and what it means to be a consistent person, or maybe you’ve heard the following comment?You’re very incoherent! Say one thing and do another, doesn’t anyone understand you?!
So, it seems that being consistent is related to a certain transparency, both internal (of a person with himself) and external (in which the person is what reflects). The person only shows his truth, without camouflage or masks.
- People who act inconsistently are those who create certain headaches for themselves and others.
- They turn away from who they are.
- Behave differently from what they feel or how they think.
Therefore, we can define coherence as the balance that exists between the most intense state of a person (what he feels inside) and the subcontracting of himself by the person in his behavior, both verbal and non-verbal, that is, When the person is Consistent, there is no lack of synchrony between what he feels and what he expresses.
“Who is authentic assumes responsibility for who he is and recognizes the free of who he is. “Jean Paul Sartre
For example, if I feel betrayed by a friend, I will not hide and I will not pretend that nothing happened, I will think about how I feel, because the pain I receive is very strong and I would like her to see how it makes me feel consistent with my pain and feelings.
Consistent people tend to build trust in others because they do not show a different face than they feel, nor do they try to pretend or hide their inner state, they know how to hear what they feel inside and are able to accept, without making mistakes or making mistakes.
They show the most exactly how they are, without opening the up to other interpretations of how they feel. They are courageous people because we live in a society in which we have been taught not to show exactly how we feel. Encouraged to hide our true emotions, hide them and even hide them to be better tolerated in society.
Do we sometimes cover the sadness of unjust joy?Or we use sadness to get what we want and never get. I’m sure you know someone who was very happy shortly after suffering a loss (love, for example). The person is not allowed to suffer loss because he “needs to be strong” and because “no man deserves his tears”.
And when you need to cry, you’ll laugh. And you’ll gain more and more weight in your true emotion. Cover yourself until there’s no sign of her. In this way, the person ends up becoming an expert in pretension and a non-specialist and lets himself be and feel as he really is.
We also talk about coherence when we refer to the harmony that exists between our actions or behaviors and our way of thinking, often we find ourselves acting in a way that goes against our thoughts and values, which produces in us a mixture of strangeness. and shame.
If I say how tolerant and patient I am with others, but at first change, I can’t accept any point of view other than mine, if I’m upset and irritated, I probably need to think of myself. Believing that we are one-way, but being actually the opposite of what we believe, produces an unpleasant feeling, so this inconsistency tends to be eliminated: in favor of one side or the other.
Starting the path of coherence is not “crazy”: it implies a very important honesty pact with oneself.
The problem of inconsistency lies mainly in the mistrust that we end up generating in others. It’s hard to trust someone who acts differently than you think, and it’s also very hard to trust someone who looks different from what you really feel.
There are very intuitive people who are able to perceive these dissonances and who are then able to perceive when someone is inconsistent and it is something to be grateful for, because it is easier and less dangerous to be someone in the company of certain people, without a mask – and be another person in the company of other people.
“Each of us is on Earth to find our own way, and we will never be happy if we follow each other’s path. “James Van Praagh.
For all these reasons, it is very important to continue to know each other without fear by observing what is in us, if we accept who we are, we do not need to hide or refuse, think about it: living with a mask can be exhausting and does not create any authentic relationship with anyone.
Seeking a balance between what we feel, think, and do is an achievement that will make our relationships more true and authentic; starting with the relationship we have with ourselves, as we are our only life partners from birth to death, whether we like it or not.