Being honest saves time and improves relationships. The proper use of honesty and integrity with yourself, specifying what we accept and what we do not accept, what is right and what is not, facilitates coexistence and avoids uncomfortable situations.
However, far from what may seem, it is not so easy to use sincerity. Confucius said that the person who is sincere and always tells the truth has already built his way to heaven.
- However.
- Let’s face it.
- Most of us have been brought up to be right in all circumstances.
- To maintain careful respect for others.
- And we often make little lies our survival boats out of fear of being rejected or attacked.
We say yes to this party with colleagues from the company, so as not to be left behind, we have friendships that have emotionally expired years ago for fear of harming the other person.
We support our partner in certain decisions, even knowing they are not fair; We do this so we don’t end the dreams of someone we love.
There are many situations that occur every day in which we apply a half lie or a half honesty that, even with good intentions, in the long run will bring no benefit.
To be honest (but without practicing sincericide) should be the recurring gear of our own being, where we can build a healthier reality for all.
“Sincerity may be humble, but it must not be servile. “Lord Byron?
Nothing can bring so much harmony to practice this transparent communication, to release armor, lies, fears and condescension.
There are those who boast of always being correct and respectful, when in fact they are experts in the art of hypocrisy, that is, by faking feelings, ideas or behaviors contrary to the truth.
Many walk in the discouraged world. It is those who think one thing and say another, those who feel a concrete reality and end up behaving in the opposite way.
Living out of control in terms of thoughts, desires, actions and communication creates great discomfort and can lead us, in the long run, to situations of great misfortune.
Studies such as that conducted at the University of Southern Denmark by Dr. Stephen Rosenbaum clearly show that honesty should be the norm in our society. Using sincerity saves costs of all kinds: emotional, relational, labor, etc.
It is a principle of well-being for us and others, but how to apply it?How do I start making good use of it?Here are some keys:
There are inner voices that reinforce our fears. There are defenses that create real barricades that prevent us from saying and doing what we really want. All these internal psychological universes not only prevent us from being authentic, but also hinder our growth.
Let us be clear, whoever wants to be honest with others must first be honest with himself, and this requires the practice of sincere and courageous internal dialogue, where we wonder what we really want and need.
Being honest saves precious time. This avoids, for example, spending time and effort on people, practices or dimensions that do not correspond to your wishes or values.
If we could practice true honesty, we would gain trust “among us” because there is nothing more beneficial than receiving advice or feedback from someone who, far from seeking to be condescending or “doing well,” dares to speak to us in some way sincerely. and objective.
In addition, another aspect must be taken into account: the lack of sincerity leads us to use these lies that, in a short time, need greater lies to maintain the castle of cards.
The psychological effort to prevent the collapse of so many lies is immense, and we quickly realize that this practice is not useful, not logical, not even healthy.
Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, two child education psychologists, point out in their book “Children: New Ideas about Education” that children lie to their parents more often than they imagine for a very basic fact: they choose to resort to lying, to make their parents happy to meet their expectations for them.
They think if they talk about how they feel, they can really let them down. In some respects, this is how the almost recurring need to not always be completely honest begins.
We are afraid to disappoint, we are afraid that we will not be as others think, we are afraid of generating distances or losing relationships, however, we must be clear and sincere, otherwise we will end up betraying ourselves.
Being honest can have an impact or a surprise, but in the long run it’s worth it, because we’re going to create healthier, happier and more meaningful relationships by sharing life with those that really matter, should we put sincerity into practice?