“With every stone they throw at me, I build my fortress.
(Elvira Sastre)
- Every day we face criticism.
- This is very common and yet we do not get used to it.
- They are always difficult to deal with.
- Especially those of people who are important to us.
Acceptance is the first step. If we don’t realize that criticism is normal, frustration will end with us. Unless we live on an island, separated from the rest of humanity, there will always be someone who says something negative about us.
At the same time, we must also accept that, some more and the other less, we have all had this behavior at some point. Perhaps they were more innocent or more destructive comments. Maybe we said something just because the others were talking too. The thing is, sometimes we’ll be the critics, but at other times we’ll be criticized.
Patience requires using all our resources to keep your mind calm, it’s about not being impulsive and staying calm, allowing immediate emotions to calm down so you can analyze the situation and act more rationally.
These tools include breathing deeply, forcing yourself to remain silent for a few moments, counting to 10 if necessary, or concentrating on something different, such as an image or a pleasant memory.
This exercise will make problems seem simpler and not make the situation worse by saying or doing the first thing you can think of, this is certainly the smartest way to act.
We will always find people who hurt us, in some cases they will be toxic people. In many others they will do so without ill intentions, but whatever the reason, disappointment and pain are inevitable.
If we cannot forgive, these negative emotions will accumulate to the point of disturbing our happiness. We can’t change the world to be perfect, but we can change ourselves.
Forgiveness means accepting what happened and leaving it behind, this means leaving things in the past and not letting them affect our present, although it’s not easy, it’s the most beneficial thing for us, that’s the way to move forward
Not all reviews are the same. Someone can criticize us fairly, because we’ve done something inappropriate, and that person just wants to be honest and help us. This criticism would be fair and constructive, because it is a vehicle for improvement.
Destructive criticism, on the other hand, is done in bad faith
Your intention is to hurt and this can be based on lies, or you can take data about our character and exaggerate or distort it, they are usually the result of envy and resentment.
If we have just received a constructive criticism, even if we do not like it, we will have to recognize it as something positive, if we get defensive by denying the situation and even attacking the other person with more criticism we will provoke an argument. The solution is to be brave and rational.
We must accept criticism sincerely, recognizing our flaws and proposing a solution: “If what you tell me is true, I understand it perfectly, I didn’t see it that way until you told me. From now on, I’ll try to change that”. attitude?
He’s the one who does the most work to deal with. We must understand that this is a provocation and, therefore, if we respond to it, we will go to war, there will probably be a series of disqualifications in which we will gain nothing but good pain or perhaps a bad image of others.
In such cases, it is advisable to be patient and indifferent. It’s better not to join the game because, as the choir says, “there’s no greater contempt than not having appreciation. “The other person is trying to hurt us, and if we have armor and we don’t let it affect us, we’ll win the battle.
They are usually mediocre people, with low self-esteem, who are envious of who we are or what we have achieved.
Criticism is your way of expressing envy and an attempt to regain your self-esteem by reducing ours. You should know that if someone comes to criticize you this way it’s because you’re doing something right.
When we’re the critics, the first step is to think about this behavior, why are we criticizing?Is it because our friends criticize us and try to fit into the conversation, is it because we feel jealous?Or because we’re ashamed of our flaws and want them to see that the other one has flaws too?
Reflection will do us good to be able to change. It’s never too late to improve or change what we don’t like about ourselves.
Working with empathy and learning to put yourself in the place of others will certainly be an exercise that will make us feel better.
To be sure, criticism is so ingrained in society that it would be utopia to think it might disappear, but by introducing small changes in our lives we can free ourselves from its most negative effects.
Learn to accept constructive criticism and use it as a springboard to improve, ignore unfair criticism and stay away from the toxic people who promote them, avoid them as much as possible and don’t participate in such conversations, this will certainly improve your peace of mind. and you will have a more peaceful and happy life.