It is no exaggeration to say that much of our well-being depends on how we quit. Definitely the word? Resignation? It generates animosity in many people, and it is no wonder. We live in a culture that invites us all the time to “have and accumulate”, not to give up.
The offices of psychologists are full of people who do not find a way to feel at ease with the reality in which they live, many of them are surprised to have achieved much of what they intended to do: a good job, some comforts and a stable couple. There can be many options. And even though they realized what they wanted, they don’t feel well.
- “Life is an apprenticeship of gradual renunciation.
- Of the continuing limitation of our pretensions.
- Of our hopes.
- Of our strength.
- Of our freedom.
- “Henri-Frédéric Amiel?.
Perhaps the key is not exactly what needs to be achieved, it is possible that the solution to this eternal dissatisfaction is in the fact that we know how to resign, in the balance between the enthusiasm for what we dream of and the acceptance to appreciate what we dream of having.
If there is one thing in common in humans, it is this desire to always be well, and when we are well, we want to be better. It is a certain positive non-compliance, which has allowed us to build knowledge, science and civilizations. Do we want to solve all the problems that reality presents to us to be better and better?
However, in our time, “and be” has become practically synonymous. What you are depends on what you have. Being someone means having recognition, money, prestige, fame or whatever. The problem is that a person is appreciated for what he has achieved. You’re nobody, if you have less than the others.
Similarly, we live in a time when there seems to be an epidemic of unhappiness, not in vain the rates of mental disorders have increased in recent decades and most people complain about their lives.
An important fact is that life always leads to multiple exemptions almost every day. If you do one thing, you stop doing another. You have to choose. If you want a big, beautiful house, you’ll probably have to leave your family alone to spend more time on your job, if you want a stable partner you have to give up the men or women who are going through your life.
This is the part that many do not understand or do not want to accept, believe that true well-being is only achieved when we are able to achieve everything at the same time, knowing how to surrender is not part of your plans. On the contrary, what they want is to know how to have, how to accumulate, how to store the whole set.
That’s where the deception lies. Every decision we make in life involves renunciation, every achievement comes at a price. It is not possible to have everything, from now on each person defines their priorities. That’s why quitting is critical.
We are wrong to think that we will be happier to do so without losing that, we want the whole package and, when we don’t get it, we feel dissatisfied, we aspire to what we give up, rather than take advantage of what we want. We have achieved through this resignation. We always choose, what happens is that many times we don’t realize it.
We may end up angry at ourselves for not being able to incorporate this ideal of “being,” and then we begin to abuse ourselves and demand too much. We want a better job, a higher status, perfect harmony in marriage, children. on the cover of a magazine, and a long one, etc. Because ideals are ideal, precisely because they are not in concrete reality, we make our lives hell in search of what we do not have.
In fact, either you’re happy with little or you’re not happy, when there’s an inner balance, this voracious anxiety of having more or being more disappears, this is only possible if you’ve acquired the ability to quit. . Happiness is an attitude in which there is enough strength to identify what really matters to us and “run after”, give up the rest without nostalgia.