Understanding that being good to yourself is better than being good to everyone is synonymous with health and well-being, it’s like learning after a long journey where, little by little, we leave behind certain situations to move a little, without loads along the way. backpack and no stones in the shoes. It is an awakening that allows us to live life more honestly.
However, although in theory this seems easy to understand and this idea even offers enough material to write more than one book about personal growth, it can be said that, in practice, we have missed it so much. give a small example to reflect on. Imagine looking out a window at something that happens every morning at the same time. There’s the neighbor, who takes his pot every day to get regular sunlight. He does it with care and absolute dedication: does he cut off the branches, water him, put fertilizer on him?, you could even say that he gives affection to the plant.
“When they love and respect each other, someone’s disapproval is nothing to fear or avoid. “Wayne Dyer.
This is something that draws a lot of attention to a concrete fact, our neighbor never seemed to be a very happy man, he has a job he does not like and he is the typical person who tries to please everyone, his resigned need to satisfy others make him a puppet manipulated by anyone: family, bosses, friends?, in fact, do they shoot them?Son, they’re starting to wear out: our young neighbor has already had his first heart attack.
Every day, when we see him go out with the beautiful and well-kept pot, we ask him why he is not treated with the same dedication and love as with his little tree, it is to be well with himself something that the neighbor should certainly learn to learn. practice, abandon certain relationships, maintain self-esteem and seek more authenticity to regain their dignity and well-being?
Epithet used to say that ” just as when we walk we try not to step on our fingernails or not twist our ankles, in life we must address ourselves with the same attention ?, that is to say avoid others from hurting us, avoid disturbing others and protecting ourselves from evil. However, sometimes we do not: we neglect ourselves in a perverse and deliberate way, we forget that when a person stops feeling good about himself to prioritize others, he is not healthy.
We may forget that trying to please everyone by putting off their own needs is neither logical nor recommended, so by allowing this sacrifice to make us feel bad for one thing or another, we feel a sense of emptiness, indecision and frustration, which is an extremely high price to pay.
Let us remember that what is taken care of thrives, and what is defended and fed ends up paying off, so one thing we should also think about is that there are times when it would be necessary to set aside the emotional aspects to make use of reason. Separate what we feel and remember what we need.
We are aware that emotional intelligence has a lot of influence today; however, there are very specific moments when the most logical and rational thinking works best. The motive? It is this kind of mental perspective that most encourages us to make firm decisions to initiate changes in our own interest.
“Everything is going to work in the end. If it didn’t work, isn’t that the end?-John Lennon-
Erich Fromm said that people have the subtle ability to live in constant contradiction, that makes us think sometimes that if others are happy, I am happy too, that if I tell a certain person that I support what they do even if it is not true, I will get their approval and indulgence and therefore give me well-being.
Similar dualities are destructive, they are situations with high emotional cost where meaning and reason must prevail, first of all, if I do not like something, I withdraw, if I do not agree with something, I speak, if it hurts me, defend me, if I am not happy, I try to achieve it my way.
The way of being well with oneself is born of the sense of balance, it is not a question of practicing complacency and giving priority in almost all terrains, moments or circumstances, a healthier well-being does not lead to narcissism, but a healthy coexistence where the individual understands this, we must also ‘let it go’.
To achieve this, we can think of the following perspectives, each of which requires proper internalization to integrate into our lives:
Finally, remember that when you are well with yourself it begins to matter less what fate is preparing, inside there is so much energy, confidence and optimism that nothing can stop your steps, let us not waste this virtue that we all have in us.