With the development of social media, affective relationships began to suffer some variations. Passion is measured by Instagram hearts. Enjoy? The right person on Facebook can brighten our day. Terms like that? Ghosting? Or?Benching? He has entered the popular vocabulary, giving a name to cowardly practices.
In this society marked by dependence on technology, it is not surprising that many novels have started online, after several conversations via Whatsapp, the logical thing is to go out for a coffee or a beer, thus marking the beginning of a love (or love story).
- But what seems so easy in some situations often gets complicated.
- After a few appointments.
- The other person may no longer be interested and not know how to say it.
- Sometimes shame and selfishness provoke the practice of the “ghost”: disappear without explanation.
In this way, the other discovers that the person with which he is dating no longer responds to your messages or calls, the person blocked or deleted their contact from social networks without giving any reason, discomfort, anger and mistrust invade the person who does not understand what is going on.
Like ghost images, Benching is a way to escape a relationship without having to deal with the other person, the main difference from the first is that the person using Benching wants to be in touch with their ex so they can use it whenever they want. .
The term comes from the English expression?(leave someone on the bench). Its basic function: it is intended to maintain the interest of a person with which nothing serious is wanted, but of which we want to take advantage, either because there is a main figure that we really like. or because we don’t want commitment, banking is a technique that is increasingly used socially.
Living in eternal uncertainty can be pleasant at first, not knowing what’s going to happen, or whether the other person is really interested can be exciting, but it gives the relationship a purely platonic interest, although in many cases it also causes discomfort and suffering in the person waiting unilateral hedonism usually doesn’t end very well.
“If loving you means giving up my self-esteem, my bond with you is toxic: I’m not interested. -Walter laughs
It is true that when you love someone, sometimes it takes time to react, we do not want to break the magic or make the other person think that we are too accessible, so it is normal to take some time to respond to a message. sent by someone special.
What’s not so common is taking days or weeks, if the person you’re dating behaves like this, stay alert, if they really cared about you, wouldn’t they let you spend so much time?Unless something really happens? Because I’d be afraid of losing interest.
It is common for the person to continue to congratulate you physically and emotionally, tells you that you are special, unique, attractive and different, leaves their self-esteem high, but does so to increase theirs, wants you to need it and feels that you cannot live without it.
At the same time, it ignores you when you want, this creates a sense of confusion and ambiguity to lose you, at this stage usually appears a degree of dependence on the other.
You may have tried to ask several times which direction your relationship will take, but the person can’t have a conversation about it and avoids any related issues. She insists on congratulating you, but she’s not honest about how you feel.
His only intention is to keep you waiting if a better plan doesn’t come up. The person doesn’t care how you feel or the harm it can cause, their main concern is their own well-being. She’s so afraid of being alone and having anyone to inflate her ego that she can’t see anymore.
Anyone who practices the bench intends to guarantee someone on the bench for fear of being left alone.
In any relationship, it is necessary to establish parameters between what one wants and what he is willing to do, if your relationship from the beginning has been clear and honest, you may be wrong about the term.
There are couples who, from the beginning, decide that they can have relationships with other people; In the long run, some people find that this type of arrangement does not benefit them because it causes them more suffering than good, if so. They are not benchmarking, but a lack of communication between them. Accepting a type of relationship you are not comfortable with is not someone else’s problem, it is their problem.
If on the contrary you feel that you are being deceived or stripped of certain information, do not hesitate to face it, you have to love yourself enough to know that it is better to be alone than not accompanied.