For most people, betrayal is an unforgivable act that causes a great injury and often leave deep marks, an issue that has become almost taboo. After a betrayal, there is nothing more to say, since everything is said, apparently nothing justifies it and nothing repairs it.
However, this radical positioning sometimes does not allow us to see some important nuances, for example, there are situations in which we classify as treason something that is not really.
- We can get to the overly severe judgment of some inconsistencies in others that.
- In fact.
- Have done us no harm but break some of our expectations.
“As faithful as someone wants to be, he never ceases to betray the uniqueness of the other to which he addresses” – Jacques Derrida-
It takes coldness and maturity to put betrayal back in its rightful place. It is obvious that it is not pleasant for anyone to be bewildered by each other’s totally unexpected behavior.
This disappointment that occurs is often more related to ourselves than to the way the other person acts.
We speak of treason when someone does not keep their word or is not faithful to a previously agreed covenant. Etymologically, the word?Traitor ? comes from the Latin traditor or traditoris, which means “the one who gives someone to the other group”.
As you can see, it’s a word that comes from military tradition, in a literal sense it would be something like giving someone to the enemy.
In everyday life we talk about betrayal when someone who is apparently on our side suddenly says something or acts in a way that opposes us, we think the person was on our side and, as a result, we see that it is not. .
However, this: being on our side? Sometimes it’s very ambiguous, as is the idea of ‘being against us’. Being on our side can mean a thousand things, from the complicity of our mistakes to respect for our integrity.
Just as being against us is something that can be widely understood, ranging from denouncing our mistakes to trying to destroy us, without meeting our expectations.
When there is a bond of love or friendship, it is very common for borders to blur, there are pacts or commitments, but these are rarely explicit, basically it is considered that if the bond is positive there will be no place to hurt yourself.
However, as we said earlier, “hurt?” It’s a somewhat subjective subject. The most typical case is that of the famous “love betrayal”. The question in this circumstance is: does the covenant of love mean keeping the feeling in any circumstance?
That may be the intention, but it’s a very difficult goal to achieve, feelings have their cycles. Sometimes they can transform positively, other times they are diluted or simply become negative.
There is no certainty in this area, of course, it is possible to maintain the link in the name of a quote, but that does not mean that feelings have not changed.
Therefore, a person may feel disappointed and betrayed when their partner’s feelings change. The question here is whether the problem lies in who ultimately feels different and acts accordingly, or who expects it to never happen.
Many people claim that they are able to understand any change in their partners’ feelings, as long as they are sincere and express themselves in time, however, the reality is that this rarely happens.
If one of us is in love and the other stops loving, for those who continue to love, it is very difficult to assimilate this new asymmetry. The situation is further complicated when there is attraction to a third person.
Therefore, it is not uncommon to hide what is happening, the real intention is not to deceive, but to avoid feelings of guilt for the damage caused to the other or by the storm that it can unleash.
Of course, there are also cynics and manipulators who have fun playing with the feelings of others, but are actually a minority.
It can be very beneficial to try to relax our thinking about betrayal a little bit or what we call light treason. In this case, circumstances are often more important than the facts themselves.
It is possible that behind what we call treason, there is only one more person who is not always in tune with what we expect or desire.