Talking about betrayal is always complex and delicate, because these are feelings and emotions that are not always well resolved for one or both parties, in the case of couples each has its own agreements and modes of relationship, so each case is literally a case, because the couple will find their own ways of communicating and resolving encounters and inadequations in a relationship regardless of any ideology or religion , which may even influence, but not determine, the direction the couple chooses for the dynamic balance of their common life. .
This question should be asked not only by married persons, but also by couples.
- As Ivan Martins (2011) says.
- There is a passion that comforts us with our internal problems.
- Our constant pain.
- Our intolerable anxiety.
- For a while.
- It distracts us from ourselves.
- It’s an escape that tends to repeat itself.
- Anxious and undecided people do it all the time: changing partners and passion without being able to change the essentials in themselves.
- One day.
- They wake up.
- Realize that the old pain is there and they leave.
- After another passion that manages to fill the impenetrable hole.
May we hope that we will have to distrust ourselves and our reasons, because in a silent and almost unmistakable way, many continue to hope that love, that is, the next love, will suddenly solve our life, may be nothing more than an exquisite crutch. or an illusion. Perhaps a painkiller for problems that are solved poorly internally with each couple, causing both to abandon their frustrations in the relationship.
That’s why we make decisions. We can walk towards a woman or a man and start a conversation that will be repelled and/or welcome, or we can decide that that fantasy/desire will pass without leaving a trace in reality. Fantasies/desires show that we are alive. But what we decide to do with them or to weigh them determines what our real life will be like, and that’s the part that counts.
I do not know if it can be said that a betrayal is a sign of immaturity and lack of responsibility, or proof that one does not know how to love, or a sign of selfishness in which one agrees to destroy the other’s feeling for living. a new love story as Felipe Aquino used to say (2010).
But it can be a sign of relationship review, as the aspects mentioned above may or may not be present in the dynamics of the relationship. Depending on the couple, betrayal may be the opposite of social rules, where it may even have space in the relationship, which goes against morally accepted discourse.
Therefore, when we talk about relationships and live the therapeutic service of the couple in practice, we cannot have a simplistic and linear thought of the situation, because if for some betrayal is the end of a relationship, for others it is the beginning of one more. mature relationship. !
Bibliography References: AQUINO, Felipe. La the gravity of the betrayal of quotations. 2010 MARTINS, Ivan. When love is a distraction. 2011