Many of us are confidants and friends of those who speak of the wickedness of others, as if a divine power had granted them this authority. They do not do so in a way that can be described as “casual”, but for them hypocrisy is a common resource in communication, which indirectly serves to strengthen their values by seeking the complicity of the other in what it criticizes.
This stimulus works in contrast: if the other agrees with me in my criticism, it will also agree with what I represent, with what I consider to be, so this habit is characteristic of insecure spirits, which in words about others, tries to frighten ghosts.
- In addition.
- People with this custom do not usually speak or refer to irrelevant details.
- Tell intimacies.
- Judge and tell stories that have been revealed by chance or carelessness.
- But still belong to the privacy of someone and.
- Therefore.
- To a place where no one should enter without the consent of the other.
It is not uncommon to find that in our own circle of friends there is no one to criticize us, if we thought otherwise, we would not have them as friends, except for a few exceptions, of course, because there are those who also like masochism in this regard. They love to talk about it, even if it’s bad and with bad intentions.
Now it’s normal that we don’t feel very happy when we realize that someone is using us as a punching bag behind our backs, especially if it’s someone we trust and with whom we share some intimacy, this usually happens with couples. , in which one of us, to vent with his friends, often forces the other to “bleed. “
“The most offensive thing your worst enemy can throw at your face is not like what your closest friends are saying about you behind your back. -Alfred de Musset-
Faced with this, assuming that we are all human, it is very radical to say that anyone who speaks of the wickedness of others at some point is a hypocrite.
If we didn’t have an unconditional friend, genuine support to help us endure, these bad times would be doubly bitter. Therefore, each of us can comment on something negative about the people around us with someone we consider worthy of our trust.
Talking to one person about what happens to others is not hypocrisy, you could say that it plays a vital role in the human being, however, obviously there are some red lines that can give us clues that we are starting to live in an environment of hypocrisy. .
Complaints about the behavior of others must go through a number of phases, not regulatory, but ethical. If someone does something that irritates me or annoys me, first of all it is good to try to solve this problem with the person himself.
If, instead of trying to fix the problem directly, we start reporting the mistakes of the person causing this discomfort to other people in our common environment, we begin to draw the red lines of what we call hypocrisy.
Telling several people around you how bad you feel about someone and then acting like they’re okay at a social gathering doesn’t solve the situation. On the contrary, it infects others and yourself.
It can happen sometimes, but if you become the general tonic, think about creating a bad habit to reduce your frustration. If you notice this bad habit in someone you know, it might be time to be alert, which doesn’t mean being defensive.
It is said that there are fine red lines to detect hypocrisy, which is sometimes subtle and difficult to assume; However, at other times, there is such an obvious trait in others that it is no longer enough to be alert. ceases to be innocent, however difficult it may be, even if it hurts.
As hard as it sounds, saying bad things about others sells. Call him, give him a game. There are people who, due to their lack of real social skills, use conversations about the lives of others to attract and attract the attention of others.
Fully elaborate lies, unfounded rumors, intimate details told on a bar table without any decorum. There are no more red lines, the boundaries are already drawn: we have discovered that it is not just hypocrisy. This person, who we consider a friend, begins to speak very badly of those around us, without showing any sorrow.
This person begins to show his dark side to others, but we refuse to think that this may happen to us, until we realize that he speaks with true wickedness, in front of an attentive audience, of a person who has the same relationship of trust. like the one you share with her. It’s time to be alert: stay away from that person.
No one will reward you for trying to get rid of the hypocrisy of your surroundings, no one will reward you with a medal for not getting into the foul play that someone presents to you on a silver platter, on the contrary, you always run the risk of losing contact with certain acquaintances, you will be riddled with doubts and many will judge their attitude.
Putting limits on relationships with totally toxic people, who not only practice hypocrisy, but also hurt when they can and want, it is difficult, especially when that person was part of their privacy, it is no coincidence that, in psychological violence, the one who leaves is never the winner.
The most practical thing in these cases, for their own emotional health, is not to play an even dirtier game: don’t try to unravel the hypocrisy of others, everyone should be responsible enough to take off the “band”. Autonomy and independence. You’ve had enough.
After all, living without hypocrisy has an implicit reward in itself: you will live more surrounded otherwise, there will be healthy people with a pure heart around you and you will have much more space for them, eventually anger will disappear and even a feeling of compassion will overwhelm you. You must have gone through the mourning of cholera to get to the absolute of indifference.
You must have learned a beautiful lesson: you must be careful who speaks badly and hurts others behind your back, soon you could have been with that same dagger on your back, not knowing who had made you bleed.