Unfortunately, human relationships are full of manipulations. Most of them occur unconsciously, we learn them without realizing it, and then we reproduce them. Two of these manipulative mechanisms that seriously damage personal ties are blackmail and coercion.
Manipulation, in psychological terms, is defined as a mechanism by which one person leads the other to say or do something using traps and errors; the manipulator identifies situations in which the other can be used as an instrument to achieve their personal goal. manipulates, for example, when a politician distorts his goals to receive votes. In others, especially in private life, manipulation is semi-conscious or unconscious.
- How do you inadvertently blackmail or coerc? When you take a victim position.
- For example.
- Then you lead the other to act out of guilt and not by conscience.
- It also happens when you devalue someone to remain dependent on you.
- Or when you take advantage of each other’s weakness to put them in some way at your service.
Psychological or emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation and therefore an act of violence, it is designed to control the behavior and feelings of another person, like any blackmail, is a pattern in which the other is convinced to do or not do something, because of a negative consequence It is like, do it, but are you going to suffer?No, but the consequences can be disastrous.
Psychological blackmail prevents a person from living with autonomy and freedom, which is why the master singer lives. This will lead the other to assume certain behaviors or not. He wants his victim to act as he sees fit, not his own personal beliefs.
Emotional blackmail is based on two pillars. One is the fault and the other is insecurity. He wants to convince the other that his free actions or decisions are, in fact, proof of his own wickedness or will cause him serious harm. Thus, it leads others to behave the way the master singer wants. Go to your party? Someday I won’t be out of this world and will you regret not spending more time with me?
Insecurity is a feature that makes a person quite manipulable. It is enough for the singing master to point out his mistakes, defects or risks that the other person is taking, to keep him as meek as a lamb. “When you realize you have no idea, contact me and I will help you solve the problem. “
Coertion not only uses methods for the other to do what the manipulator wants; in this case, try to get the other one to do something he doesn’t want. Coercion involves more violent behavior than blackmail, although it also has subtle aspects. In all cases, coercion involves a relationship of power and abuse.
In coercion there are direct or veiled threats, they use fear of others or their vulnerability to something, they often use power figures to manage those under their sphere of influence, in this case the victim is aware that she is being manipulated, but feels prevented from reacting. This may be because the other person is stronger and the threat of physical violence, or because their condition is higher and can cause serious problems.
While in emotional blackmail the common thing is that the exerciser is someone loved, in coercion this is not necessarily the case, it comes not so much from a loved one, but from a feared being, the victim does not realize that she has the resources to resist this form of manipulation, but is left in the position of someone powerless in the face of arbitrariness.
Blackmail and coercion are real cancers of interpersonal relationships. All they can do is fake or cancel people. The attacker can temporarily reach his target, but sooner or later he will fall victim to the boomerang effect. Manipulators often find themselves trapped in their own nets. .
Images courtesy of Benjamin Lacombe.