Everybody has a family. Having one is easy: we all have origins and roots, but keeping it and knowing how to build it, nurture the bond every day to keep it together, is another matter.
Do we all have mothers, fathers, siblings, uncles, sometimes numerous family nuclei with members that, perhaps, we have stopped seeing and that we do not live with. Do we need to feel guilty?
- The truth is that sometimes we feel a certain “moral” obligation to get along with this cousin with which we share very few interests.
- And who has caused so much discontent throughout our lives.
- Blood can bind us together.
- But life doesn’t suit us.
- At all.
- So staying away or maintaining a fair and punctual relationship should not be a cause for trauma.
But what happens when we talk about this closest family, our parents or siblings?
We come into this world as if we had fallen from a chimney, right now we are united with a number of people with which we share blood and genes, a family that will take us to their particular worlds, to their educational models, that will try to instill their values, more or less true?
Sometimes you tend to think that being a family means sharing more than just blood or even a family tree, there are those who, almost unconsciously, believe that a child should have the same values as their parents, share the same ideology and have a resemblance. pattern of behavior.
Are there parents who are surprised at how different siblings can be?How can it be if they’re all children of the same belly?It is as if within the family nucleus there must be an explicit harmony, where there are no excesses. differences, where no one should leave the standard and everything is controlled and in order.
However, what we need to know clearly is that our personality is not transmitted 100% genetically; Some features can be inherited and, no doubt, when we live in a shared environment, we will share a number of dimensions, but children are not like their parents, and parents will never get their children to be like their expectations.
Personality is dynamic, built on a day-to-day life and does not meet the barriers that parents sometimes try to impose. Is this where the usual disappointments, the “shocks” usually appear, the disagreements?
To create a strong and secure family bond, differences must be respected, fostering independence as well as security. Should we respect the essence of each person in his wonderful individuality, without erecting walls, without censoring every word and every behavior?
Sometimes many parents see their children move away from the family home without making any additional contact, there are brothers who stop talking and families who see how many empty chairs lie in the silence of the room.
What’s the cause? It is clear that every family is a world, a microworld with its rules, its beliefs and, moreover, with the curtains open where only themselves know what happened in the past, and how they live in the present.
However, we can talk about it based on some basic areas that should make us think.
? Education aims to give the world people who are confident, capable and independent, so that they can achieve their happiness and, in turn, know how to offer it to others How is this achieved?Offer a sincere love that does not impose and that does not control, a affection that does not censor how it is, thinks or acts someone.
? We should not always blame others for what happens to us, there is no need to blame your mom or dad, even today you feel insecure and unable to do certain things, or that brother who, perhaps, has always been better cared for or cared for. of who we are.
It is clear that during education certain mistakes are always made, but we must also be in control of our lives and know how to react, have a voice, know how to say “no”, and believe that we are able to undertake new projects. with security and maturity, new dreams without being slaves to yesterday’s family memories.
Being family does NOT always mean sharing the same opinions and views, which is why we should not judge, censor, let alone despise behaviors that create distances and encourage us to find greater loyalty among friends than in family.
Do we sometimes have moral obligation there?Having to be in touch with loved ones who hurt us, who annoy us, who censor us, there is no doubt that they are family, but you have to keep in mind that what really matters in this life is to be happy and have an inner balance. An inner peace. If such or that family member violates our rights, we must impose a distance.
The greatest virtue of a family is to accept itself and others as they are, in harmony, with love and respect.
Image credits: Karen Jones Lee