Breaking with the patriarchal essence of the emotional legacy offered by the maternal lineage is sometimes the price we have to pay to obtain the authenticity and freedom we so desire.
There is an undisputed premise that guides our lives, and she says that every girl takes her mother with her, is an eternal bond that we can never erase, we will always contain something from our mothers, so it is essential to purify and cleanse these difficulties created since childhood and maternal influence in our past and present history.
- It is a complicated process.
- A difficult experience that means realizing that unconsciously we are immersed in a legacy that perpetuates addiction through reproduction based on ancient educational beliefs.
It is a touching feeling because the desire to disconnect goes hand in hand with the need for care and the idea that the person who has provided the greatest emotional experiences and sees their empowerment as a loss of their own. For humans (or rather educational) For purposes, mothers sometimes seek to shape and adapt their daughters away from the essence of individuality.
This is not a common process or a conscious need, the mother, in her inheritance as a woman, can feel that her daughter’s life will be easier if she is less complex and intense, so she promotes that her feminine essence is mastered to the qualities that the “culture of patriarchy” imagines the attractiveness.
Subtle labels like “The Rebel”, “The Lonely One”, “The Nice Girl?They simply convey a message: “You must not grow to be loved. “At this point, you should be aware and treat this essence, even if it means a partly aggressive and ultimately painful disconnection.
Patriarchy is increasingly weakening, because from generation to generation female force is present, urgent and necessary. One way or another, the collective unconscious reinforces a woman’s need to be authentic.
Bethany Webster has more accurately synthesized this authentication process that we are talking about, in your text we can understand what points of support they are to start this process.
“This is a dilemma for girls raised in the patriarchal system. The desire to be themselves and the desire to be cared for become needs in competition; looks like we had to choose between one of the two. This is because their empowerment is limited to the extent that their mother has internalized patriarchal beliefs and expects her to accept them.
Your mother’s pressure not to grow depends mainly on two factors
1) The degree to which he internalized his own mother’s limiting patriarchal beliefs.
2) The scope of your own need to be separated from your true self. These two things paralyze a mother’s ability to introduce her daughter in her own life.
The cost of becoming an authentic being often implies a degree of “breaking” with the maternal lineage. When this happens, the patriarchal links of the maternal chain are broken, fundamental to a healthy and powerful adult life, which often manifests itself as pain or conflict with the mother.
Breaks with the maternal lineage can be adopted in different ways: conflicts and disagreements in detachment and detachment, it is a personal journey and it is different for each woman, basically the rupture is for transformation and healing, this is part of the evolutionary impulse of the female awakening to empower you more consciously. Is it the birth of the mother, and the beginning of true freedom and individualization.
On the one hand, in healthier mother-daughter relationships, rupture can lead to conflict, but it actually serves to strengthen the bond and make it more authentic; on the other hand, in aggressive and less healthy mother-daughter relationships, the -up rupture can trigger unrecoverable injuries in the mother, pushing her to get involved with her daughter and repudiate her, and in many cases, unfortunately, the girl’s only option will be to keep her distance indefinitely to preserve her own emotional well-being.
In this way, instead of seeing herself as the result of her desire for growth, the mother may feel her withdrawal/breakup as a threat, a personal and direct attack on her, a rejection of who she is. It saddens to see that her desire for empowerment or personal growth can lead her mother to blindly see her as an enemy. In these situations, we can see the high price of patriarchy in mother/daughter relationships.
The belief that we cannot be happy if our mother is unhappy because we have our own beliefs is a legacy of patriarchy. When we give up our own well-being for the sake of our mothers, we avoid an essential part of the process in which we are. trying to achieve.
We must mourn the wound of our motherly lineage because not doing so causes a high degree of suffocation, even if we try not to do that, a girl cannot cure her mother, because everyone has a responsibility for herself. we need to break and seek balance, which is only possible if we change patriarchal norms and do not yield to the complicity of superficial peace.
We have to be very strong to start this process of disengagement, but, as Bethany Webster says, letting our mothers be individual beings makes us free as girls and as women to be individual beings. It is not noble to endure the pain of others. it is not a duty that we must assume as women and we should not feel guilty when we do not assume this role.
The role of emotional caregivers employed by women is part of the legacy of this oppression, so we must understand that it is fictitious if it does not meet our explicit needs, maintaining this perspective will help us to abandon guilt so that we do not control ourselves.
The world’s expectations of us can be very cruel; in fact, in my opinion, they are a real poison that forces us to forget our individuality. It’s time to make room.