Many psychologists have paid special attention to the relationships that exist within families and in the creative styles to explain the psychopathology presented by one of its members; in fact, all psychology with its different currents is interested in this fact and considers it a factor responsible for many disorders in individuals.
Grouped and disconnected families, democratic or authoritarian parental styles, generational alliances, relationships that promote dual family ties, overprotection, abandonment, abandonment, etc. Many of the phenomena studied link a type of mental illness to a type of family condition.
- If something has this difficult issue.
- It is its correct approach.
- Explanation and treatment.
- Especially when in society certain ideas are considered absolute truths.
- Which.
- Unfortunately.
- Are not always true.
- That.
- Some phrases like “Is there nothing like family?” Does the family never want to hurt?.
All this causes a lot of pain, guilt and confusion in people who feel that their relatives did not know how to respond to the unconditionality that society tells us to maintain, that they have suffered physical or psychological abuse or who feel that the creative system received has stopped their evolution and emotional independence.
There are families who have done harm intentionally and others who have done it without knowing it, giving love, advice and education that they considered appropriate without considering that their children did not want the future they had designed for them.
With this article we do not intend to point out how badly someone has been behaving, but we will try to demonstrate some myths to explain the realities, and the truth is that there are families who heal and families who get sick.
From the phrase: is he a little agitated with a difficult personality?There is a constant imperceptible of small phrases that are said and repeated in the family nucleus can destroy those who listen to them Basically, it is a way to give each child an identity, to keep explanations or, in many cases, to fill the parents’ own shortcomings in education.
Tagging a child is a way to perpetuate their behavior, making them believe that their behavior is “incorrigible” and inherent in their being. These labels are perpetuated from parents to teachers and acquaintances, penetrating the direct environment surrounding the child.
Children’s labels are not only within the family, but are passed on to teachers and the child’s knowledge. When he wants to change his behavior, he faces walls of mistrust.
We often hear the phrase: “No one will love you the way your family loves you. “This phrase hurts the feelings of many people who have not experienced it, making it difficult for them to detect and even report abusive behavior. forget that such abuse can occur in two directions, from previous generations to later generations, or from later generations to previous generations.
Just because someone carries your blood doesn’t mean they can’t hurt you with your behavior. Kinship is biological, genetic, and the right bond is emotional, communicative and subject to the variability of individuals, which has little to do with it. do with inheritance.
Genes establish an inherited bond that does not imply a satisfactory emotional bond. This type of social belief makes it difficult to detect our real needs and interests as individuals.
It is not enough to love without limits; even in love the virtue of balance must be applied. In the development of babies it is necessary to explore the environment in reference to a relevant attachment figure, as the psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth have shown.
Harry Harlow’s monkey research shows that a baby’s affection for his mother is essential to developing a secure bond that allows him to explore the world independently; however, attachment should not be confused with overprotection.
Just because having children is the choice of life chosen by most of humanity and being carried out naturally does not mean that it is no longer a decision to become an obligation. Family planning and the massive integration of women into the professional world have reduced the number of children per couple and some couples publicly advocate the option of having no offspring.
Therefore, when it is already an option and not an obligation as was the case in the past, we find ourselves in a more complex scenario that requires more responsibility and sincerity: children should not be the livelihood of a couple, they are not a way of life. emotional validation and does not have to bear the weight of our frustrations.
Wishing your child a better childhood than you had, perhaps full of emotional needs or financial difficulties, honors you as a person, but if you want to project on your child everything he can’t or hasn’t dared to do, he may be wrong. .
To put goals to our children based on what they have achieved or not, to compare and pressure on the choice of a certain path, is to end their individuality, so our role as people we love them is to help them find their way and get them so that they have the best tools to do so.
Let us be aware that children do not belong to us; their only owner is the same life they were given.