Building a lasting romantic relationship is a real team effort that both must lead on an equal footing for the relationship to thrive. Based on the observation and analysis of several cases, the question is: what are the general characteristics of the couple making a long-term connection?
What physical or mental characteristics attract us? Here, desires, biology and personal needs begin to intersomese. Experiences lived since childhood in our family have a great weight. So we began to form our own definition of the word “love,” witnessing the way our parents treated us, treated us, and treated their own parents.
- When looking for a partner.
- There is always a reference to that family world we know.
- Whether it’s because we want similar or different things.
- It is very common for the chosen person to show traits that seem close to us.
- And sometimes others that bring us some surprise.
Soon the time, patience and observation of oneself and the other, will allow us to know if the pieces fit and if the relationship works.
When you want a long-term romantic relationship, but fail too often, there’s often something unhealthy about the selection criteria. In fact, what needs are we trying to meet? In these cases, even if the selected partners have different characteristics, the defects tend to be the same.
When the election responds to a problem that could not be solved, the strong relationship has no space. The other cannot solve our internal problems, we are the ones who have the power to decide to work on it.
Another common scenario is to start a relationship knowing the characteristics that we do not like, but believing that with patience, dedication and love we can change them, what is actually achieved is to walk in a circle around what we do not like.
The couple that achieves a stable relationship that allows them to learn, grow and enjoy life together has two fundamental aspects:
Intellectual emotion
Emotional and physical affinity
The same evolution means that sometimes there are crises, but the relationship can be capitalized and strengthened.
Exposing critical aspects without criticizing each other, to promote constructive, without defensive attitudes, both should have the freedom to express delicate emotions.
Repair or stop the problem. Do everything in our power to reverse the negative feelings generated after a problematic situation.
Choosing appropriate times to solve important problems, including controlling anxiety, proposing a space to calm down and think when a discussion gets hot, proposing to talk about a topic when you’re stressed or in a hurry.
Humor is a tool that resilient couples often use to relax and resolve conflicts more easily.
Living a clean and interesting life not only benefits us in many areas, but also helps to show that we can enrich the lives of those who choose to accompany us in a lasting romantic relationship.