What is Calimero syndrome? We all know people who not only express their complaints, but live immersed in them, nothing seems right and everything bothers them, sure that after reading these lines you will have someone in mind.
This is what psychoanalyst Saverio Tomasella says in his book The Calimero Syndrome, in this document these sullen chicks are referenced with half the shell of their broken egg on their head, although he uses a comic line in his explanations, its content is real.
- For the author.
- The reason for all complaints is put in context.
- A very difficult socioeconomic situation.
- Combined with a very difficult life cycle.
- Is the trigger for so many complaints.
- In fact.
- He states that behind them there is usually real suffering.
- An emotional complaint that has been neglected several times.
Now, while this custom is the reason, living with these people can be very difficult for others. His tendency to see the disadvantages of everything implies an irreducible pessimism.
However, there are also people whose complaints are framed in a constant need for care that can be difficult to address.
Calimero syndrome is a contemporary phenomenon in a society on the brink of implosion. According to Tomasella, “injustices are becoming more and more evident. Is there a parallel to the world that preceded the Revolution of 1789?
There are many privileges and abuses, so this rigidity of society makes many people feel unfair and need to complain.
Most of the time, those who complain a lot have experienced real injustices and fear being victimized again. For example, some “calimers” may have suffered deep shame, humiliation, rejection, and abandonment.
Severe trauma of genealogy (problems of inheritance, ruin, exile, economic migration) can also mark a child, who will have the role of spokesperson and complain significantly rather than his family. As a result, complaints often address issues that go much further than we think.
However, instead of talking about a very intimate restlessness, the complaint is aimed at superficial problems, such as train delays or a very hot coffee, in this way a hidden expression of pain or shame is linked to something benign and everyday that can be expressed freely and publicly, without social or emotional consequences.
However, they remain complaints that repeatedly repeatedly end the patience of others.
If the complaint is ad hoc, it can be positive because it attracts attention, it can be a way to change a situation when there is a problem at work, in the relationship, in the family, however, there are people who feel sorry for themselves on several occasions.
Does a person become one? Calimero? When he makes complaints, a monologue and a general pattern of relationships with others.
In most of these people it is necessary to be heard for others to recognize their suffering, in others there is a form of laziness that consists of letting the situation become eternal in order to continue to complain. a minority who are simply trying to get attention.
A child, adolescent, or even an adult who has not been heard while suffering an injustice will surely initiate a process of repeating his or her complaint, which is that when pain and denunciation are ridiculed, a new injustice occurs.
If you mock someone who expresses your suffering, you can increase your propensity to complain.
There are those who complain all the time to be the star and find themselves in a constant theatricalization. It’s a way of dominating others and the situation. They can also be called “calimers”, but in reality their shell does not break. , we must be smart to detect them.
However, in most people who complain a lot there is something that is really broken and shattered, nor do they know how to move forward or how to rebuild, so you have to be patient with them, because they don’t really want to hurt us, even if they tire us out.
This attitude is usually the result of a childhood injury that has not been noticed by the family. Basically, these people don’t say ‘take care of me’, but ‘listen to me’. Trapped in their grievances, they need to be heard, to show how much they’re suffering.
Empathy is necessary because many have suffered a real and objective injustice, so if the person feels respected and heard he can move on.
For those who don’t want to explore their past and delve into family history, they can start by doing physical activity or meditation on a regular basis, which will help reduce tension and gradually prepare for therapeutic work.
Complaints can become emotional expression, as can the contingencies that strengthen them and prevent those affected from moving forward, so you have to hear the story behind the complaint, deepen and go further.