It’s been more than 20 years since the premiere of the famous romantic comedy “Harry and Sally: Made for Each Other. “We always remember this film for making us, once again, the question: “Can a man and a woman be just friends?
Some say no, that men and women (heterosexuals) can never be friends, and that hormones are to blame?How are you enjoying your experience of friendship between the sexes?The answer depends on the viewer’s eyes.
- According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and directed by April Bleske-Rechek (Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire) in 2012.
- Men perceive romantic possibilities more often with their friends than women with their friends.
- The study also found that men show the same level of attraction or desire to form a romantic relationship with their friends.
- Are or are not involved in a relationship with another person.
What does the studio mean by that? That men and women evaluate their relationships with people of the opposite sex very differently. According to the survey, in the traditional friendship between a man and a woman, the man overestimates his friend’s level of attraction to him. On the other hand, women underestimated their friends’ level of attraction to them. So men tend to think my friend probably wants more than a platonic friendship?and women tend to think, “Oh no, don’t think of me like that. “
These very different visions of the same situation would be the source of so many misunderstandings and, who knows, why so many “unintentionally” women give “false hope” to your friends.
Perhaps a contributing factor to this margin of error is the fear and propensity of women to hide things; In the study, participants were assured that their responses would be confidential and anonymous; Furthermore, before completing the questionnaire, the pairs of friends promised not to mention their answers once the study was completed. It is assumed that, in the name of science, all participants were completely honest; however, there must be some degree of shame in admitting to third parties that there is a certain attraction for your friend, especially when one realizes that one is not reciprocal. Clearly, pride and shyness can affect the way a person answers the questionnaire.
Interestingly, it seems that the previous study (directed by April Bleske-Rechek) to date has been the only one on this subject, however Jesse Budd and Patrick Romero, two young filmmakers, have come to the same conclusion: men and women. they can’t just be friends. They set out to record a video showing the veracity of their arguments.
Although, of course, they are far from a rigorous method, the goal was simply to document informal research among university students. It was fun to see how girls initially started saying yes, it’s possible to just be friends. But when asked if their friends were attracted to them, they blushed and admitted that this was probably the case, so in reality, friendship is not purely platonic.
The truth is that it seems that men and women need to adjust their thinking and acting to achieve a truly sincere and lasting friendship with a person of the opposite sex.
It would be interesting to see how theories evolve on this issue and how the passage of time affects conclusions so far defined as true. More research can be done to study friendships between people of the opposite sex.
Image courtesy of Kevin Conor Keller