To love is to touch infinity and, at the same time, to discover that the arms will never reach you, even if we try several times. This is the great paradox of love: we live it as if it were eternal, but one day it ends, it ends, but it never dies. When we love, we discover a new logic, where everything and nothing constantly flirt.
The verb? It may be inaccurate to talk about love. It’s a word that best suits objects and doesn’t feel. Because loving is a dynamic reality that changes, changes, transforms and transforms over time. But if we live all these processes, it’s because we persist, because it doesn’t die, it transforms.
“In a kiss you’ll know everything I’ve been quiet about. “-Pablo Neruda-
If we talk about loving children, parents, siblings, friends, the degree of stability can be much greater. Another thing is when we talk about love between a couple, especially if we look from the point of view of the ideal of romantic love, which is static and immutable forever. This kind of love usually end quickly. People often say it’s “the eternal love that lasts three months. “It is the most intense phase of love, but also the most ephemeral.
Let’s talk first about loving your partner, since it is usually one of the most problematic loves for almost everyone, we are heirs of a romantic idea of love, which was built between the 18th and 19th centuries and which still prevails in our culture today. . This perspective, in turn, is the daughter of the idealism that has so influenced the West, which speaks to us of “orange halves” and loves to live happily ever after.
And in fact, when we are in love, each of us could swear that it would be an eternal feeling. We can’t imagine how we could change this way of loving our partner. In this state of “almost madness”, one loses, without realizing it, the sense of proportions. So we promise and swear it will be forever.
This kind of love generates many expectations. Although promises and oaths do not say specifically, it seems that what is offered and what is expected is the maintenance of a state of fullness and romantic love between the two. The first disappointments come from these high expectations, for love is a feeling that does not erase our flaws, my wickedness and our limits.
Sooner or later, these realities come to the foreground and destroy the romantic ideal we had dreamed of. In the end, passion becomes an obstacle to love. It’s true that it’s fine, but it can also greatly increase the tone of our emotions, which prevents us from seeing clearly the greatness and restrictions on everything we feel. If we overcome this obstacle without any trauma, we will begin the true path of love.
The metaphor of the tree is very appropriate, you only have to be careful, see how it was born and grew from a small seed, to realize that the destiny of all that has life is to expand and reach heaven. The adult tree has flowers, fruits, and new seeds so it can be planted elsewhere and start a new growth cycle, a new story.
Love is like this too: once it germinates, it never stops, it will continue to grow and bear fruit, to repeat the same cycle forever, as you grow you will notice if this love is like an oak, a cherry tree or an unknown species. Don’t expect it to remain unchanged: it’s constantly evolving. Every day something will change and, even if he dies, he never dies: he will always be the seed of something new.
When we really love, we love forever. Parents love their children and children love their parents, even if they are no longer with us. We love our friends in joy and in difficult times. We love our brothers and sisters, despite the problems that arise: we love them, even when we hate them. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
When you love your partner, you also write an endless story. Even with breakup, divorce or abandonment, the person we love will always have a place in our hearts. Each of these loves writes at least one line in a story he can’t. to be changed: the story that leads us on the paths of understanding who we are and what we cease to be.