“Right now it’s impossible to make a decision, can’t I?It is very likely that, on several occasions, a person close to you has uttered those same words. Or even you have expressed yourself in this way feeling a wall that inhabits you and prevents you from moving forward.
“I don’t know if I should break up. ” Maybe I should change a few things in my life, but now I can’t. “”I know I should say what I feel, but now I can’t. “What’s behind all these usual indecisions? Our daily lives revolve around a multitude of insecurities that, to a greater or lesser extent, make life easier for us.
- Today we want to talk about this personal and emotional responsibility that we all need to develop more properly.
- Sometimes it is not easy.
- But with a little effort and courage we can achieve it.
- Being more aware of the consequences of our own decisions.
You probably know a person who almost always uses this expression: “I can’t. ” If you ask him out, you talk to him about your problems and when you say that it might be time to make a change in your life, the phrase “I can’t” reappears.
What does “I can’t” mean? If we say that, we are exempt from our own responsibility, it is a way of sabotaging ourselves. With our own voice, we build huge walls on this battlefield that is life and we surrender.
If I don’t control the situation, I’m no longer responsible for everything around me. Hey, can’t I? It’s giving a chance to the meaning of life itself, to circumstances and problems, and it’s really scary. Let’s start with a very common example: “I can’t end my relationship, I don’t want this person anymore, but I’ve spent many years with her and I can’t do that. “
What is our self-esteem, consistency and integrity like? If we are not faithful to our own feelings and emotions, with such attitudes, we lose some of our essence. Frustration, loss and emptiness will come over time. by making conscious choices, you are selfish.
Now let’s look at another example, what if instead of saying I can’t, I replace it with one?I don’t want to? Or one? I want to?In this case, we already recognize that there is a choice on our part. There is firmness, determination, courage and will for change. This is called “emotional responsibility. “By doing this healthy exercise, the person takes responsibility for what he feels and does, acts coherently without damaging anyone’s free will, and the consequences of his choices will be truly his own.
Emotional responsibility is a fundamental pillar of self-esteem and happiness, it’s not about getting rid of our feelings, it’s about accepting them as our own and daring to make decisions that match what we feel.
We know that it is not always easy to act on our emotions, life is a complex maze, in which we face bad people and difficult times, but it is always worth developing an authentic and sincere personal responsibility.
There is a very simple exercise that can help you and consists of writing down all your dilemmas and problems on a piece of paper For each of the options put one?I can’t? And a “I don’t want to. ” Once this is done, ask yourself about the feelings written on it and whether they really define the truth. Here is an example:
“I don’t love my partner anymore, but I can’t leave him. Don’t I have the courage ???? -? Don’t I want to leave my partner?
“I can’t fly a plane, it scares me ?????????” Don’t I want to fly a plane?
“My colleague annoys me. But I can’t tell you that ??? -?Don’t I want to tell you that?
“Can’t I take control of my own emotions ???????” I don’t want to take care of my own emotions. “
Ask yourself about the claims made, if they are really true, and find out what prevents you from taking emotional responsibility for your own experience. Identifying the error is the first step towards change.