Changing is not easy. In fact, some aspects cannot be changed and sometimes it is not necessary either. There is no model of human being that we should all look like. The concept of Normality? This is a very relative question. People who break the rule are often the ones who contribute the most to humanity.
However, there are aspects where we can and must make changes, especially in areas that limit our lives or make us suffer, it’s not about being someone else. The sensible thing to do is simply to find the ways to be and act that are most useful to us.
“All the changes, even the most anticipated ones, bring with them a certain melancholy. -Anatole France-
Nor is it about completely transforming our personality, what we should be looking for, in fact, is how to mitigate the aspects that bother us, although change is not easy, if we put this goal in a realistic context, it becomes possible It is also important to eliminate certain factors that act as an obstacle, preventing our change, below are some of them.
We are often aware that certain behaviors are not appropriate, for example, react impulsively, smoke or be very sedentary, in that case we are aware of that, but we do not take it into account, so changing is not easy.
A good way to motivate change is to make the consequences of wrongdoing completely visible. Let’s take an example: people know they have to wash their hands before they eat, but many don’t. If a dye is applied to allow bacteria to be seen, they would surely always wash their hands.
That’s something we have to do. Think about the effects of our negative behavior, make a list, and review it periodically. We do not suspend the search for new adverse effects of this behaviour, in short, to face all the consequences of these aspects that we want to change.
As negative as a behavior may be, if we maintain it brings us some benefit, the problem is that the benefit usually occurs in the short term, while the negative consequences are received in the medium and long term. so easy for our motivation to ignore what is hurting us with this behavior.
Thus, in many situations, we need motivation and support to keep the will for change firm, so it is good to talk to our loved ones about our goal, to ask them to help us remember the importance of our change, not to pressure ourselves, but to encourage ourselves.
It is also positive to practice self- automotive. The old rewarding trick still works. Give us a gift every time we reach a goal. Recognize the effort. Changing is not easy, but few things are more satisfying than being able to change.
We all have routines that sometimes hinder change; are associated with the behavior that we want to change, it is the routine itself that encourages us to re-practice the usual negative behavior, for example, sometimes we suggest doing an hour of exercise every morning, but we usually go to bed very late. Right now, we are already making it difficult to achieve our goal.
Are there cases where he? Triggers? Negative behaviors are more subtle; for example, we left a mess everywhere. It annoys the people we live with, it’s a source of conflict and it triggers intense fighting, at the same time we’re fucked because we have a certain level of anxiety and it always seems like we don’t have time.
In this last example, the? The triggering context is this sense of urgency, it makes us think that we do not have two minutes to put things in their place, in this case and in others the important thing is to identify the problem and the possible alternatives, how can this anxiety be eliminated? How could it be possible to be more organized without feeling like you are missing an important moment?
Changing is not easy. Mainly because we always have to face resistance, whether conscious or unconscious, we may not want to because we do not appreciate the benefits of changing our behavior, or because we are victims of very rigid mental programming, or because we have not found other approaches. to replace those that need to be changed.
There is no guarantee that we will make it, but if we work on our conscience, we will increase the chances of being able to make the change we really want.