Children are the most forgotten when it comes to bereavement. Childhood bereavement involves loss. As adults, we need to help children express their emotions, and the truth is that sometimes we are not ready to guide them through this process. So, in this article, we will learn strategies to accompany the pain of the little ones.
Fortunately, most children solve their grief without major complications, but that doesn’t mean it’s no less important to know different strategies to help them understand a little more about the children’s grieving process. Besides, how we handle it, the suffering of someone’s loss will determine the process of the children around us.
- Most of the time.
- We associate grief with death.
- But the process includes other losses: loss of a job.
- Loss of a loved one.
- A pet.
- Loss of a relationship.
- Grief is the process of emotional adjustment that accompanies any loss.
- The death of a loved one or family member is the most difficult situation we will have to accept.
- Our ability to adapt to the new situation.
- Our resilience.
- Will depend on what we live in one way or another.
Does the death of a loved one cause pain, sadness, emptiness, loneliness?And all these emotions have to surface to be handled. Children feel them too.
Children react to loss and do so in different ways, depending on the time of evolution, how they receive the news, the reaction of adults and their own experiences, adults are not very prepared for grief, since we usually do not talk about death or terminal. we’re also not talking about parent abandonment or separation.
However, we can learn new strategies. Let’s take a look at some
Accompany the child in the absence of that person. When someone dies, there is a sense of emptiness, we have to deal with the fact that that person is no longer and will not return, the child must also assume that he will never see him again, and for this to happen, the adult must also go through this acceptance.
They are normal emotions such as sadness, depression, feeling empty, etc. You feel pain, even physical pain. The child will feel these emotions and will have to accept them, we must live this pain, not deny it or suppress it, because if this task is not completed, it can lead to depressions that will require therapy.
Start living without him or her, with this void. Taking on their roles means a change, also for children. For example, it’s hard to do the cleanup bills like Mom did, ultimately this involves a change of circumstance and a redefinition of roles to keep growing and not stagnate.
A loved one’s memories are never lost. We cannot renounce the deceased, but we make a hole in his heart, so that we can look back and talk about him without suffering, the child will not forget the deceased and will be able to look forward as much as the others, with his emptiness.
A duel that is not well designed for the child can leave a lasting effect later or in adulthood.
There are behaviors of grieving children that can be considered normal and non-annoying: sleep problems, intestinal problems, recoil of previous steps (sucking your finger, urinating in bed), feelings of guilt, periods of intense emotions: anxiety, sadness, anxiety, fears?
But there are other behaviors that involve warning signs: excessive fear of being alone, excessively imitating the deceased, getting away from friends, not playing, decreasing school performance, having trouble driving or running away from home. . . are behaviors that show that suffering is excessive.
Talking about the death of a loved one is difficult. Feelings and emotions arise that sometimes prevent us from giving words to the situation, but you have to express your emotions and it is much easier with stories, adults can find stories with Jorge Bucay to accompany losses and readings to channel emotions.
Stories to address the issue of death with children are very useful for parents and professionals to help children understand and adapt to the new situation.
Depending on the child’s age, can we spend more time with the child, encourage him or her to express his emotions, correct inappropriate behaviors, involve him or her in family activities, and calm fears?If symptoms persist or we don’t know what to do it’s always possible to seek the help of a child psychologist. In fact, this is best recommended when child bereavement is complicated.