The little ones in the house are sometimes rebellious and it takes a lot of work for them to adapt and respect the rules, however, sometimes children pose serious problems for their parents, who are overwhelmed and overwhelmed by their behavior. the relationship between parents and children deteriorates, we can face toxic children, also known as tyrants.
Then the house becomes a hostile environment in which parents already start sweating as soon as they walk through the door, they know that on the other side there will be a demanding, tyrant, hostile son who will try to subdue them to do so. But the more parents try to impose themselves, the more defensive the child gets.
- It is not possible to confuse these toxic children with those who have their own age and the result of an all-natural rebellion.
- So there are certain characteristics that.
- If present.
- Must be drowned in the egg.
- Because the limits are very necessary to prevent.
- Children don’t become real tyrants.
- In this sense.
- There are limits of flexibility and that flexibility should always have a point where stiffness appears.
One of the first attitudes we have, by limits, are those of defiance, those that challenge parents to enter a game of constant aggression and hostility. Non-compliance with rules, non-compliance with sanctions or duties are warning signs to be taken. account.
In addition, you should open your eyes to any sign of wanting to send or order one of the parents, let them decide when to eat or when to watch TV, because otherwise they get angry or throw a tantrum, it is something that should not be done. allowed since the first indication of such behaviors appears. Other signs of alarm that we should not forget are whimsical attitudes, lack of empathy for others, a low tolerance to frustration and the tendency to try to manipulate to achieve your goals.
Toxic children are the result of poor education in what they were raised in, they are the result of not setting limits, falling into their blackmail and allowing them to boast of a power that does not correspond to age and maturity. Parents have power and children want to compete, gain independence, and it is a tension that many parents fail because they feel unable to bear it, then they give in and the task goes from difficult to very complicated, needing a kilo of energy to a ton.
In most cases, it is the parents who cause this toxicity present in their children, however harsh it may seem. They create by overprotecting them, without setting limits, believing that they are their friends and not spending quality time with them, and the result is devastating.
However, all of this has a solution. A more complicated solution than before, which will require greater intelligence and, in many cases, the help of a competent professional to help parents redo these limits and create strategies to impose them. Limits adapted to the situation, the level of maturity of the child and oriented from the beginning towards specific behaviors.
Therefore, parents should begin to create clear and consistent boundaries that cannot be questioned or exceeded. It is important not to try to ensure that you are satisfied on the basis of rewards, but that compliance is rewarded with social recognition, for example.
Doing this with prizes or offering rewards could trigger a new form of manipulation by the teen, who would only respect the limits when there was a promise of prior reward, he must learn that there should not always be an intrinsic motivation for behavior, which in many cases his advantage lies in his ability to do so. How to help someone and feel helpful; an advantage that, on the other hand, will be very difficult to understand, so it is essential that you experience it.
It will certainly be essential to focus on the positive and improve communication with them, in this way we will be able to know the origin of their attitude, they may feel hurt because we are so absent and their way of behaving is to punish our absence. Are we going to communicate with them and understand them? Because understanding has nothing to do with being permissive parents.
The important thing when it comes to toxic children is not to lose control, because of our responsibilities and concerns we ignore the needs of children who require quality affection, affection and time, what do we do when they lean badly to attract attention or because Bad education? We punish them even more with fights, recriminations and phrases, or we go to the other extreme and reinforce this behavior, giving them what they ask for right then and there.
With patience, love and without avoiding the challenges, both fascinating, that a child’s education demands, we will be able to eliminate this toxicity to which many children spread when they have more power than they belong. They will want that power, and our task is to maintain it, no matter how tired we are after we arrive from work or regardless of our reluctance to have a tantrum. It is in these early struggles that we will begin to shape the fate of the discussions we will have with them as they enter adolescence.
Images courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli.