Sleep is one of the most pleasurable physiological functions that human beings can experience, in addition to the pleasure of getting a good night’s sleep, sleep is essential to renew energies, ensure consolidation and learn new information, as well as improve immune and endocrine function.
When we are born first we must go through a process of adaptation until we consolidate our sleep, a baby can barely sleep an entire night, and these are the countless times he wakes up crying, this often ends up despairing parents. who don’t know what to do to get their child to sleep well.
- The only secret that exists is to have a good dose of patience and not forget that.
- Like every human being.
- The child will end up sleeping sooner or later.
Currently, a chain called “creation with natural attachment” has been developed, which promotes the action of children sleeping in the same bed as their parents until the day they decide to lie in their own bed.
This trend, which is increasingly practiced in the West, has been the subject of much controversy, there are parents who defend it with all weapons, saying that it will have a satisfactory effect on the self-esteem and confidence of the little ones, but there are also those who do not agree at all.
Proponents of this type of creation are based on studies by psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who developed what we now know as “attachment theory,” but the good or bad news is that it has nothing to do with what promotes attachment. creation of attachment.
Bowlby was born in London, into an upper-class family. Her father was a surgeon in the British Royal House. As was common at the time, she was raised by a nanny, who was her main source of attachment. little of her parents.
At the age of four his nanny left and he described the separation as tragic, later, at the age of seven, he was sent to boarding school where he felt very anxious and insecure.
It made sense for this child to feel this way and then, as an adult, to conduct studies that would confirm that attachment is crucial in the first six months of a baby’s life.
Bowlby discovered the importance of this bond when he observed that children with extreme deprivation of care and affection were more prone to academic and social failure, mental health problems, and chronic illnesses.
But we are talking about extreme deprivation, abuse, neglect, neglect or abandonment, the theory has been completely distorted today and many families believe that attachment is built 24 hours a day according to their children: take them as long as possible, immediately attend to their children screaming, increase the period of breastfeeding or sleep in bed for several years.
“This movement is a mistake. It bears the same name as a field of science that studies the development of the human being, and this generates a lot of confusion ?, explains one of the main references of scientific research on attachment, the psychologist Alan Sroufe. .
Studies of Sroufe, professor emeritus at the University of Wisconsin who has been studying child development for more than 30 years, have shown that safe attachment is not achieved by sleeping with parents, breastfeeding for an extended period of time, or carrying the child. but be able to respond to the baby’s signals in a sensitive, appropriate and emotional way. Attachment is built with the person who can do it, and if the child trusts him.
You have to be careful when interpreting theories, because nothing is exact in statistical terms and you should not judge who makes one decision or another with your family. William Sears, a staunch supporter of co-beds, argues that excessive crying can damage a baby’s brain due to high exposure to stress hormones.
But Sears exaggerates, because the stress of some sleepless nights cannot be described as chronic and compared to the stress bowlby suffered, who was neglected and abandoned by his parents. Obviously, it’s not the same.
In contrast, psychological sleep training techniques are scientifically proven and do not cause emotional harm to children; this is according to 52 studies conducted in 2006 by the American Academy of Medicine.
The conclusion we can draw after all this data is the simplest: each family must do what their instinct tells them, but always bearing in mind that there is no single method to make children have more or less high or emotionally strong self-esteem.
This is not what is practiced, but how it is practiced, for this you have to know how to interpret the signs given by the child and know how to discern when there is a need for rapprochement, sleep, hunger or other need.
No extreme is completely healthy, it all depends on how it is performed, giving in to all the demands of the child can also damage his self-esteem and, above all, make him intolerant to the frustrations he will find in the future in his life. Life.
On the contrary, being totally neglected of one’s own needs is also not the best way to raise a child: it is up to us and needs an answer if necessary.
So, sleep or not with the parents? All in moderation and without distorting science. You can sleep with your child because you love him, but without thinking that he will therefore be more prepared for life than others. On the other hand, he thinks we’re all habits of the human being. , and teaching a child to sleep in his or her room can be very beneficial for his mental health and for the rest of the family.