“Why isn’t your note a 10?” At your age, I was the best student in the class. “Do you need to try harder?” You won’t stop studying until you’ve learned all about math. “”Can’t you be wrong? Children I often hear these phrases during childhood and adolescence.
It is clear that parents want what is best for their children, and when they are encouraged to excel it is so that they do not suffer later, however, behind the pressure and expectations of adults, there are unresolved problems in the past. create boastful people who repeat this behavior with their descendants.
- After studying day and night for several weeks.
- Peter finally managed to celebrate the tenth year his parents so wanted.
- When he came home with the exam and satisfied with what he had achieved.
- He received no compliments.
- The parents looked at him and instead of congratulating him.
- They said.
- “We hope that from now on these will be the only notes you bring from school.
- “.
Ines is a girl who was forced by her parents to take dance classes, from a young girl she wears ballet shoes and collected hair, attending all classes and continuing to train in front of the mirror after everyone has left. . Alone at home, listen to the music you need to learn for the New Year’s Eve presentation.
The long-awaited day comes and the whole family goes to the theater. At the end of the presentation, he receives no compliments. Although she was chosen by the teacher to be the main character, her parents tell her, “Next time you have to be better than your peers. “
Maria and Ernesto’s children study piano and tennis because it was their dream as children. Kids don’t like it, but it doesn’t matter. The couple does not agree to be upset; their desire is for their children to be successful pianists and tennis players, because they have not had the opportunity to be.
These situations seem to come out of the imagination of a simple writer, but they are true, in many cases parents do not realize that because they want perfect children, they are perfectionist people.
It is clear that most parents do not want to harm their children, but out of ignorance or repetition of past attitudes, instead of helping, they end up creating a complex adult, sad and unable to accept their own mistakes. And he’ll probably repeat that behavior with his children.
However, when do we stimulate and when do we press? The thin line between these two actions is based on attitude. To better understand, Madeline Levine says in her books that if adults connect with children and participate in their activities, the process is called “stimulation. “
But, on the other hand, if personal desires are more important than the child’s well-being or if, while the adult demands his dedication, he focuses on another activity, such as household chores, the process is called “pressure. “
A 21st century custom is for children to have many extracurricular activities from a young time, the list is huge: English, sports, music, painting, dance and more, on the one hand, because parents work many hours a day and do not have much time to take care of them. On the other hand, they believe that in this way they “do the best they can”.
It is very good to practice or speak a second language; what we can’t do is force them to do something they don’t like or pressure them so that if they’re not perfect they’re ‘bad guys’, “ungrateful”?or “don’t deserve anything. “
Before we try to have perfect children, we must ask ourselves what we mean perfectly. “Wouldn’t it be better for the children to do what they love?”Of course, there is a difference between freedom and debauchery. We don’t want them to stop studying, drop out of school and have no profession.
Wishing only good things to our children is typical of all parents, but what price should we pay for that?Encourage your children to do their best beyond the results. Don’t put negative labels when they don’t get the highest score. Ask them how they feel when they go to class or what they’d like to do when they leave school.
In this way, you will create future adults who will be able to overcome the obstacles that arise, be able to use their full potential without comparing themselves to others and, above all, be happy with the future they choose.