Your two-year-old stings with rage and slaps him, what would be his reaction?How to choose the right punishment? It is common for many parents at the moment not to be able to control their impulses and end up shouting, threatening, physically assaulting or imposing heavy punishments on the child, but is that the solution?In fact, that’s not the case.
There is no doubt that the child should receive punishment or penance for his behavior, but which one?Isn’t it easy to punish our children and get it right?Read on and find out how!
“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruits are sweet. -Aristotle-
In the face of inappropriate behavior, we see parents react in a very different way. On the one hand, can we sin being permission? And do not impose any penance on the little ones, usually because in this way we get rid of having to deal with a possible tantrum or the moody face of the children when their desires contradict each other.
This, in the long run, is counterproductive, as the little ones get used to getting what they want without interruption, when the important thing is that they understand that they will not be able to get everything they want. understanding that, if successful, it should be through proper behavior, such as negotiating with the adult, for example.
Therefore, when a child behaves inappropriately, there must be a consequence, it can be an extinction or a punishment. As for the latter, it should be avoided that it does not involve physical or psychic harm to young people, in this line it is better not to practice corporal punishment, screaming, threats or humiliations.
Education is not preparation for life, education is life itself. -John Dewey-
In fact, if the violation of the rule or disturbing behavior is mild, extinction may be sufficient, but if what the child is doing is more serious or if he or she systematically violates a rule, it is important to choose the appropriate punishment based on the child’s situation. level of development and age, in this way you will help her understand that this behavior does not bring her a balance of good consequences.
In addition, rebuke must be linked to the rule that has been broken, so that the little one can think and think about what has been done wrong. Reprimands should not be too long, otherwise they will eventually accumulate all behaviors, not what really needs to be improved.
On the other hand, from the age of five or six, reprimands must be in accordance with the little ones, in this way we promote the communication and negotiation skills of children, as well as the ability to defend their own rights and understand the rules that govern. exist at home These reprimands must be fair and appropriate for all parties involved.
Finally, as far as possible, the sentence must be restful, that is, it must involve compensation or restoration of the damage caused, ideally that the punishment is linked to the conduct that we do not want to repeat. ensure that feelings of guilt are reduced and family ties strengthened.
Now that we know how it should and should not be a punishment, let’s talk about how to implement it, first of all, it is important that the little one knows in advance what the reproaches are and what they are. On the other hand, once a rebuke is imposed, it must be carried out to the end.
This is an important point, because when moms and dads are not consistent in punishment, they lose their usefulness. With this threat dynamic, but inadvertently, the child learns that following a rule is irrelevant. For her, it is important that the attitude of adults is as intelligent and as impulsive as possible.
To achieve this, we must first try to control our anger and think that punishment should not hurt the little ones, but make them think, in this way we will communicate the negative consequence in a calm voice, allowing the little one to perceive affection. acceptance, rather than rejection that conveys a succession of constant punishments. Applying the right punishment is a challenge, but with these tips, we’ll be closer to achieving it!
“He who, angry, imposes punishment, does not correct, but takes revenge” – Michel de Montaigne-
Images courtesy of Andrik Langfield, Gerome Viavant, and René Bernal.