We often think that anxiety is a state we should never be in, and we argue with phrases like “Is feeling anxious for the weak?”, “Can I go crazy for being anxious?”Will others notice if I’m anxious and think badly of myself?Etc.
It usually begins with a problematic situation in our life that poses a threat, interpreting it in this way initiates a series of physiological mechanisms to escape the threat or to fight it, this is the famous fight/flight response.
- The problem is that in addition to this primary problem.
- There is almost always a secondary one: we are anxious because we are anxious.
- It is as if our own fear scares us.
- And that is when we are caught in a vicious circle from which it is difficult to get out.
All unfounded fears start from the irrational beliefs already known, those absolutist and exaggerated truths that have been put at our heads throughout our lives and that have become ours.
So, with the fear of anxiety, it would be no different. We’ve been told things like ‘we have to be strong’, ‘anxiety can kill you or drive you crazy’, ‘smart, strong people don’t care,’ being anxious takes you away from others. ‘
Fortunately, these beliefs are not real. Anxiety is a fundamental and primary emotion: all animals experience it at least once in a lifetime, and that is why we have survived as a species and as individuals.
Anxiety is not bad at the right time and at the right time, in fact, thinking like this is often what makes you an uncontrolled demon, doesn’t kill, saves our lives and doesn’t make us weaker or more vulnerable, on the contrary, it makes us human.
If we want to be less anxious, the first step is not to want to be less anxious, this seems contradictory, but in psychology the paradox arises in countless situations.
In other words, do we push ourselves too hard not to be anxious people? Do we understand how to demand how not to tolerate even a hint of anxiety? And in the end we were more anxious. We will feel that we have not met our expectations, which, on the other hand, are not realistic.
The mental exercise we have to do is to change the preference requirement, that is, to tolerate that as human beings we often feel anxiety in our life and this is neither bad nor good, just normal.
On the other hand, you have to stop treating anxiety as a horrible and unbearable emotion, it is true that the physiological symptoms of anxiety can be very irritating and unpleasant, but they are also irritating and unpleasant on a very hot day, with fever or headaches. .
The last point is the unconditional acceptance of yourself as an imperfect person. Being anxious means nothing but being anxious and you don’t have to walk around. This does not mean that we are weak, sick, or inferior to anyone.
So face the anguish in your eyes, let it come to you, feel it, kiss it, say it’s a little heavy, but it doesn’t hurt, it’s only when you do all this that you can get rid of it.