We all need to be comforted sometime, but do we know how to comfort ?, Sometimes we have internalized certain ways of comforting that are not the correct ones, and today we will analyze what the word consolation really means.
Comfort is listening without judgment, being there; is listening, continuing to do nothing. ?
-Bernardo Stamateas-
We’re all going through some tough times when feeling lonely won’t be good, but look around!There are many people who care about you, are you available to them too?Not only should we want people to always be ready to help us, but we must also be prepared for anything that can happen, at any time, unpredictably. Forms.
Whether they’re friends or family, we have to be there for them, and it doesn’t just mean being in person. This means many other things:
We all like to be heard, but really listened to. So, if you are willing to comfort someone, who is real, listen to them with sincerity and interest in their well-being.
Friendship is there at every moment of the day, with open arms, waiting for good times and bad times.
Sometimes we feel uncomfortable when we comfort someone, because that’s all we can do, helplessness begins to appear and you even feel a little useless, does it comfort you?How can I really help?
Like we said, we feel useless, helpless, because we don’t really know how to help. We think being there with someone, just listening and comforting, doesn’t do anything. Wrong. You’re overreacting.
When someone has a problem or is going through a bad time, you can’t interfere with it. Each person’s pain must be felt by the person himself. No one can take his place, no one can get over it except the person who suffers. of that.
This is something that we have to start internalizing to learn to understand the different reactions of people, because many want to download the talking, while others prefer to do so in silence.
Sometimes silence is the loudest cry a person gives to help
Whether a person wants to talk, or wants to remain silent, stay by their side, you just need to go with them, they just need to know that you have an arm around you that will hold them if they fall. This arm that will help you get up doesn’t mean it will free you from pain, but it will give you the strength to keep fighting and dealing with pain.
It is clear that we have no way of knowing what the other person is going through, and although it seems absurd what they say or experience, we should try to empathize and use understanding. Stop telling the person who’s suffering that it’s all happening. that happens, what’s just a bad time? Stop criticizing, telling her how stupid she is and that everything is so clear to you.
Don’t judge, because maybe tomorrow you’ll go through a similar time, you’ll be aware that this can be ridiculous, but you’ll suffer even if you refuse to.
“We must not judge the lives of others, for each knows his own pain and selflessness. It’s one thing to assume you’re on the right track; another is to assume that this path is the only one.
-Paulo Coelho-
Learn to be present to others, to comfort you without judging their way of thinking, what they are living, what they are suffering, just accompany them in their pain. Let them know that if they fail, you will be there to offer support.
Make them understand that everything is an experience, for better or worse, and that sooner or later the situation will be something that is already in the past and that has been overcome.
Images courtesy of Jung Eun Park, Shiori Matsumtotto.