Who has never had motives, reasons, or needs in life that prompt us to complain?Human relations are a conflicting ground, where negotiations, concessions and agreements are constantly defined, but results are not always the best. Sometimes these agreements, implicit or explicit, are not concluded or respected, and that is where you have to complain; but with confidence.
How can we not complain at work if people sometimes give more importance to their own interests than to their needs?How can we not complain to our partner if he starts acting with indifference, hostility or selflessness?How can you not complain to your family if you are sometimes asked to do things you can’t or don’t really want to do?
- At first.
- Most of the time.
- These small injustices are not serious.
- But they can lead to more complex problems that cannot go unnoticed.
- A good complaint over time is better than silence that can generate future storms.
- The key is how to complain.
- Here are some ideas to help you advance the art of complaining with confidence.
Like all art, assertiveness also requires practice, in reality there are few cases where we receive instructions on how to do it, so it is best to start with basic training.
Start with small complaints, to be effective in what you ask, ideally try to do so with people who are not part of your everyday environment and who are doing something to merit the complaint, for example, an electrician who did it. improper installation. It’s about exposing the person what you think is wrong, but in a quiet and clear way.
It is a magic key in the world of self-affirmation and applies not only to complaints, but to all kinds of situations. Instead of exposing your discomfort by questioning what the other person has done or said, express how the situation affects you to seek understanding of the other person.
Let’s take an example: you have a boss who gradually gives you more and more work, until you get to a point where you can’t leave on time, unless you take your trip without receiving any compensation in return. You’re afraid to complain because it’s demanding and always says it will reduce the number of employees.
You could say that you succeed over your right to maintain a defined working day, however, if you do so, think that the result will surely be an open conflict or at least some kind of resentment.
Therefore, it is best to look for a suitable time to explain to the other person what this situation means to you, say, for example, that you understand that there is a lot of work and that you know that it wants everything to work out. Well, add that you want to collaborate, but that’s why you’ve been forced to extend your workday and that this causes disorganization in other aspects of your life.
The best communication is the one that goes straight to the point, not that you have to be concise or dry, but that you have to have a friendly way to expose your complaint in a blunt, simple way and without going any further. often interpreted as insecure or an attempt at manipulation.
What complements this assertive way of communicating is that you are working on the self-control of emotions, if you keep calm your chances of solving the problem increase exponentially, remember that no one was born with self-control, it is a skill that is acquired. Work on it.
Many conflicts or disagreements are not resolved so easily. Sometimes it is not enough to file a firm and respectful complaint for the other party to understand. You must be patient and persistent to be treated fairly. You will often be asked to file a more detailed complaint. at once.
In any case, there are also complaints that we must leave behind if the objective is not significant Why devote your time and energy to a complaint that the other person does not want to admit, not because it is unreasonable, but because there is no intention to recognize their rights, expectations and needs?
In these cases, it is absurd to persist. The best solution is to try to put an end to the situation, which is inherently intractable. You may lose something momentarily, but in the long run you will surely earn much more.