The way children are educated has undergone a great transformation in recent decades and the family structure has also changed dramatically. From a model that some called “mobile children”, we moved on to another in which children became the center of the universe for their parents.
The extended family has gradually disappeared. Today, most families have only one child and often a single parent, so the child is the absolute focus of those responsible for their education, this did not happen before, when interest had to be divided between several children and others. family members, such as uncles or grandparents, who had a great influence on the education of the little ones.
- “If you want your children to have their feet on the ground.
- Put some responsibility on their shoulders.
- -Abigail Van Buren-.
This new model is almost always typical of the middle and upper classes. For this very reason, this implies an additional element that is worrying. Children have also become a status symbol for their parents. They’re his “big investment. ” There is a contest to find out who has the most beautiful, multilingual and most developed children. In short, any positive adjectives you can think of.
The new parenting model seeks to produce more or less perfect children, characterized by a constant follow-up of what children do in the day to day, but not only that, there is also a complete follow-up of your future, parents plan a bright future for them from the moment they start walking.
To meet expectations, parents also often make sure their children don’t experience a bad situation in the face of their problems. Getting into trouble is not part of this educational program, let alone surviving without the help of parents, to know exactly what to do. Do.
On the other hand, parents have become very insecure people, they fear the exercise of their own authority. They behave like a kind of coach for their children, not their parents, project their own desires and goals into them and are afraid to conflict with the little ones, because the rejection of one of their actions can affect them too much. think long before imposing limits.
Creation thus seen does not seem to have encouraging results, this usually generates children who are not sure that they are facing difficulties or needs, do not know how to act when they cease to be the center of the universe. Over time, it’s very difficult to make them understand that to do things, they have to do more than ask.
Children who grow up in this model feel better than others, yet at the same time, this perception disappears and changes with enormous ease, all their self-love ends when they find themselves in a situation where others do not applaud what they do.
These kids are good candidates for addiction. If they are at a crossroads, they will probably call their parents before trying to resolve the situation themselves; as adults, they will think that a good sign of their partner’s love is that they can handle their demands without any critical opinion, basically no matter how many languages they speak or the skills they have developed, they are still emotionally helpless children.
This new style of education creates major problems of authority. The idea that the child is a “miniature adult” is very harmful. Some parents believe that if they consult their children’s opinions above all, their autonomy will increase, while the effect of deriving from this custom is, without exception, quite the opposite. A 5- or 10-year-old boy, in many ways, has no idea what is best for him and, on the other hand, to develop his autonomy, it is absolutely necessary to go through obedience.
The limits imposed by parents are not a way to reduce the freedom or development of their children, but quite the opposite. These are the references that will make them feel the world as a safe place: it would give them a limit on which to explore freely and without fear, in addition, they will learn that reality develops through an established order and that it is not. the child who will tell how the world should work, but quite the opposite.
The family is an institution of asymmetrical relationships. Its main function is to accompany the individual in his process of insertion into a culture, and to enter into the logic of culture, it is essential that we renounce certain impossible desires, such as the desire never to lose, for example. Everyone’s desire to realize our whims and many others, which appear in every human being.
There will come a time when children will try to change the world according to their style, but as long as they are young they must participate in the guidelines imposed by their parents. Contrary to what many unsafe parents think, the boundary-setting process is the best way to invest so that they have a bright future.