We are all subject to losses in our day-to-day life, be it the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, dismissal or any change, in any case we feel the absence of something that was really important to us. The loss comes from grief, a process in which we must develop emotions and rebuild our lives, however, the grieving strategies that each person uses are quite different.
For some it is relatively easy to accept the new situation and adapt to it, while for others the world seems destroyed, confusion, pain and anger settle down and take over their lives, stealing happiness and causing a lot of sadness. .
- However.
- These differences occur because each person uses a different style to cope with grief.
- Fortunately.
- We can all change our style if it doesn’t seem very positive.
Adaptation can be defined with all the cognitive and behavioral efforts that are put in place to deal with a situation and respond to internal or external demand, when the situation involves demands that exceed the person’s abilities, stress appears, this is where adaptation strategies are put at stake in place to meet this demand.
Grief is undoubtedly one of the experiences that makes us feel lost and forces us to use our personal resources, however there are different coping strategies, and not all are equally effective.
In this case, all resources focus on the problem in question, which requires a solution, this happens by three different styles of adaptation:
Thought strategies bring the person closer to finding a solution to the problem, while reactive and suppressive approaches them from this possibility.
Thus, when the person uses the problem-solving coping strategy, it is possible to identify the stressful situation and assess its importance, as well as analyze its causes and implement behaviors aimed at producing changes in circumstances.
It consists in focusing energies not on the problem itself, but on the emotions that the situation provokes, on the one hand, there is an emotional treatment, which allows us to recognize and understand the feelings that are experienced, on the other hand, there is an emotional expression that consists in freeing and sharing these emotions, either with others or with oneself.
In addition, emotional adjustment can be done reflexively, reactively or suppressively and will consist, respectively, of analyzing and expressing emotions, expressing them impulsively and uncontrollably, or avoiding them.
All of the above are strategies that people put into practice to deal with a loss, if we look at them carefully, it will be easy to see which one we use most often, however, each of them has different consequences and makes the pain more intense. or less fast and effective.
People who use a reactive style are more likely to experience a complicated duel, as well as anxiety and depressive symptoms, which can be beneficial in the early stages, as anger can give the individual a sense of strength, however, if the same strategy is maintained over time, it will prevent the person from crying properly.
On the other hand, those who use emotional expression and thinking style experience greater growth and positive personal transformation after grief, actively look for ways to solve the problem, seek social support and express their feelings appropriately.
Therefore, it is easy to understand that the most functional way to deal with grief is to identify, express and release emotions appropriately; In addition, maintain mental clarity and practice behaviors that help us actively resolve the situation, denying the problem, fleeing or escaping. react impulsively will only intensify suffering.