What if I had decided to study abroad?What would have happened if I had accepted this job offer?One of the mental tasks in which human beings spend the most time is imagining alternative scenarios. Through counterfactual thinking, we tried to imagine, what reality would be like if we had made different decisions.
Doing this exercise can be beneficial in some cases, however, obsessing about exploring different options in your mind can have negative consequences, frustration, remorse, and anxiety can be part of our lives if we don’t learn to accept and live the present. .
- Throughout our lives we make decisions.
- Some more daily and others more decisive.
- With each of us we open some doors and close others.
- However.
- Is it almost inevitable to question at any time how everything would have happened if we had chosen a different path ?.
- On this is based exactly counterfactual thinking.
- Projecting alternative realities.
- That would have arisen from different decisions.
We can delve into the past and formulate different scenarios, comparing them to the current situation (if I had been kinder we would not be fighting now). This type of reasoning can also be applied to future situations (if I leave this job, you probably don’t find anything better and end up unemployed).
The possibilities are endless, and at the root of this process, we find ourselves convinced that these choices have marked our lives. This statement has part of the truth: our past actions form our present and our current decisions will influence the future.
However, no option in itself constitutes a penalty. We have the power, at all times, to change course.
This cognitive process has some advantages when used moderately, first of all, it helps us to learn from the mistakes of the past and to better plan our decisions, in the face of a dilemma that we have experienced before, we have a basis for predicting certain events. , experience can be the starting point for making better decisions.
Let’s look at an example. In the past, you’ve failed an exam because you haven’t started studying enough. Probably, at the time, you had thoughts like, “If I’d organized better, I’d have passed the test. “In this way, in Ante similar situations, you will decide to keep your studies up to date.
On the other hand, it also helps us to be satisfied with our accomplishments (if I hadn’t moved, I would never have met my best friend) and helps find relief in negative situations (when I was in that car accident, if I wasn’t), wearing a seat belt would have been much more serious).
If we lose sight of the usefulness that this kind of thinking can have and start using it constantly, we will have problems, we can begin to feel negative emotions about the choices we have made in the past, guilt, remorse and frustration may be felt: “If I had been more attentive, our friendship would not have ended”, “If I had not married so young , I could have had more experiences in life. “
We must remember that counterfactual thinking can serve as a guide for the future, but never as an anchor of the past. If you think you haven’t acted correctly, try correcting the error and learn the lesson for future situations. another, consider reflection as a starting point for building the future you want, not as an emotional burden.
Similarly, entering a loop of thoughts about the future can lead to anxiety, stress and paralyzing indecision. “And if I go to the interview, I get nervous and make a fool of myself. “The reality is, we can’t predict the future, we’ll be nervous or maybe we’ll get the job we want.
The past no longer exists and the future is a mystery, so we will focus on accepting our present, learning and doing our best to build the future we want to live, we must remember that error is part of life, that he is followed by walking and that there will always be new opportunities.