“Are you going to see my aunt!?,? When are you going to get married ???” In a short time the children will arrive? “At your age, should I stop? They are typical expressions that everyone begins to hear from the age of thirty, it seems that the demands of others about what should and should not be had increase at this age, with this there are doubts, fears and concerns that sometimes lead to in the famous thirties crisis.
A home, a stable relationship, a stable and passionate work, as well as children and travel, this is the ideal portrait that society paints for a person in his thirties, an image created from social precepts that meet and mark a way forward. After all, the people around us have a responsibility to remember it.
- As can be seen.
- We can say that the crisis of the thirties has much more to do with the culture of a society and its system of social pressure than with the scope of the thirties.
- By not meeting social expectations.
- Anxiety and frustration appear as a result of “duties”.
- Not fulfilled.
- Even if they are not necessarily representative of what the person wants.
What a heavy phrase, don’t you think? They’re part of social pressure. They establish what are the steps to follow on the path of life, what are the obligatory stops, if we do, we will be considered successful and admirable, if we do not reach them we will be eccentric or desperate.
Most of society’s goals are linked to success and success, any recognition and status depends on these factors. As we grow, these demands increase and with them our own level of self-criticism and pressure.
As we walk the path of life, we accumulate accomplishments, yet we also leave other things behind, which we do not attract our attention for most of our lives, however, something happens when we reach the age of Thirty. This age suddenly brings back everything left on the to-do list. We even thought that if we didn’t realize what was established by society at that age, we didn’t do anything with our lives.
Thus we enter the famous crisis of the thirty years, a state of confusion, disorientation and uncertainty caused by the clash between social and personal expectations and reality.
Life is a set of choices on which there is strong social pressure, while there are also the reference ideals we make for ourselves as parents, brothers or friends, in this way we aspire to be the ones that society and the people around us expect, often without thinking and analyzing what we really want , but this should not mean happiness.
If our path has strayed from the standard path, it does not mean that it is a failure, this may be a sign that we have decided to design our own path based on our decisions, however, this does not mean that we have not succeeded. certain socially defined objectives. Have a stable partner, a steady job or buy a car. The order of priorities may have changed for us.
It’s not about getting rid of social parameters, it’s impossible, we’re social beings and we live in community. However, when we are in the so-called crisis of the 1930s, we have to do something to get out of it, for that, one wonders what weighs on us so much?Or just think about what we want our life project to be like, examining our own consciousness and acting accordingly.
At this point, it is important to know the difference between what belongs to us and what is of others: thoughts, expectations, ideals, fears and doubts. Otherwise, we’ll carry a heavy load that will corrode us over time.
However, if there is one thing we need to be clear about is that feeling happy and enjoying life does not depend on achieving social goals, it is in fact related to taking care of our life project. Understand that the road is not linear, and that times are not accurate.
The responsibility of our lives is not in others, but in the choices we make, social pressure will always be there to remind us of the achievements we must achieve according to our age, yet our attitude is the key. We can decide whether or not to follow the default path or, instead, look for an alternative route.
As we have already said, happiness is not in what others expect of us, but in what makes us truly happy, for this it is enough to look at us.
The 30-year crisis may remind us that we have come a long way, it can even frighten us if we look back and see that we have outstanding goals, but these goals do not necessarily have to be met if our priority scale changes. Life is a path built by personal choices, the most important thing is that we define them ourselves.
“Life is what happens while you insist on making other plans. -John Lennon-