Decisions are subjective, not perfect. This statement seems obvious, but hardly acceptable when perfectionism crosses our veins.
We are all aware of the importance of making decisions about our lives, whether at the family, professional, health or economic level, the decisions we make will change both the situation we live in and the situation in which we live.
- The ability to make decisions is valued in many staff selection processes.
- And this is not surprising.
- As this skill is necessary for many positions of responsibility.
On the other hand, one of the stones that we find along the way and that promotes the difficulty of decision-making is the tendency to classify different phenomena in the “good and bad” dichotomy, which implies a judgment that is not always necessary.
Decisions can range from the simplest, how to choose what to eat, to the most complex ones, how to decide to donate a kidney, yet a dichotomical classification persists that polarizes both decisions, implying a judgment that is not always correct. In cases, it is not decisions, but context that puts them on a difficult scale.
For a parent, whether or not to give a kidney to their child can be very simple and yet it is difficult to choose the furniture to buy for the salon, in this sense we will distinguish the difficulty of deciding the difficulty of executing what we have chosen.
We don’t know what’s good or bad, but we make decisions based on that.
So if the decisions aren’t good or bad, what are they?Decisions are subjective, clean, personal, individual, common and free.
Decisions make us live the life we want to live, causing us to spend the cards in our own unique deck, but despite knowledge of the theory, there is always the fear of deciding which option is not the best.
The paradox of perfectionism is that “perfectionism is not perfect. “Perfectionism means never being satisfied with our performance or performance. The perfectionist will have to face an additional difficulty in completing a project: he will do so only because there is a reality factor associated with this project, such as a due date, but when is there no such factor?
Decisions can be an endless stream of endless results. Every decision can result in another decision, do we buy a car, choose the make, the model, the color, the payment method?Thus, decisions related to a goal can be numerous, leaving room for very long processes.
Perfectionists want every decision made to be perfect, wanting to ensure a result that cannot be improved, but unfortunately every decision has a double side. It always has a positive side and a negative side, which means “winning” and “letting go. “
Thus, persistence in the internal debate over which decision is better than another, in search of good, evil and expected outcome, produces high levels of suffering and great difficulties in moving forward without anxiety.
“The risk of a bad decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. “Maimonides?
As we have already said, decision-making is seen as a jurisdiction, to prevent perfectionism from blocking this capacity and being a precursor to high levels of anxiety, we must focus on education, a necessary path for healthy and functional development.
So what parents can do to encourage children’s decision-making is
“The man who wants to see everything clearly before deciding never decides. “Henry F. Amiel?
All these indications help children grow up with a high degree of self-esteem and self-confidence, so they do not receive any negative reinforcement when they themselves seek to take care of their lives, as a result, their autonomy and self-confidence. increased confidence.
On the contrary, irritation to decisions with which we do not agree as parents, punishment for error of proof or invalidation of decisions will lead the child to disconnect between will and duty, in this way he will not feel safe, always wondering what he wants. , what you need and what you want.
Supporting others’ decisions and supporting the consequences of those decisions is undoubtedly much healthier than the fear of making a mistake without knowing what’s wrong with the other.
“Let your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. “Nelson Mandela?