Assertiveness is a fundamental skill in diplomatic management of situations in which others assume more freedom than they should, this unrthodox definition responds to a reality that we all face: a lack of consideration for the rights of others, including disrespect. is the key not to be trampled, to be respected without losing respect.
One of the advantages of learning to define boundaries is that, in doing so, we also recognize the rights of others, our limits in relation to others, this means that being assertive following this trick also makes us more respectful.
- “To dare to set limits is to have the courage to love oneself.
- Even when you run the risk of disappointing others.
- -Brene of Brown-.
What are you willing to tolerate from others, depending on the type of relationship you have with them?Define boundaries for you and others, whether they depend on several factors, including your personality, but also your values, beliefs, and expectations in life. .
There may be people who are not comfortable with their determination, but that’s not their problem. You may find it more difficult to “integrate,” but if the price is to betray yourself, you may need to think about means to continue down that path.
The good news is that over time, if you manage to preserve your limits peacefully, speaking calmly, people get used to, respect and understand the red lines of what you’ve set.
While it is important to set limits and clarify them, you must also have some tolerance and be flexible, not everyone will agree with your point of view and this can lead to misunderstandings, whoever crosses your line will have no bad intentions. you can even do it with the best intentions in the world.
In such cases, you must have a certain waist and take into account the good intention of the other. Always act as if there is no harm to your intentions. Yes, sometimes it’s harder to remove disbelief than if you were watching a Marvel. film, but it’s much healthier and easier to take.
“When you know how to say no, it does have a very different flavor. -Alexander Jodorowsky-
Despite the flexibility that can be demonstrated, the limits are there to be respected, but if someone constantly passes the mark, then it will be difficult to solve the problem, so we must clarify things as soon as possible.
The good thing is that things, if they are well said, must be said only once, but the more you let them go, the more complicated it will be and the more you risk the other being offended, even if you approach the other with good manners.
However, remember that the more you give in to your red lines, the harder it will be for you to recover the land you’ve kissed and the more you’ll be exposed to conflict, so if you want respect, you have to start. respect yourself. Forgive me, yes, but don’t make a fool of yourself. Once, no more than two, it’s more than enough.
“Let’s say what to say. We can speak quietly, but firmly, speaking from the heart. We don’t need to be critical or insensitive, blame or be cruel when we tell our truths” -Melody Beattie-
To put it bluntly, it’s not enough to drop the list of boundaries that you want to clarify and you can’t go over, or just say to the other: “You cross the line, please respect my space”. In addition to being clear about things and having the ability to say them calmly, you also need to know what to say.
Here are the four tips for saying things safely, so that the limits set are more likely to be met:
This type of communication can be a powerful remedy against bad behavior, seek closeness to each other, firmly but at the same time open, honest and sincere, of course, there is always the possibility that the other will not change their attitude, but at least you will have created the opportunity for a peaceful understanding.
In any case, avoiding a violent or abusive confrontation is always a good idea, if the other person wants to chat, do not join the game, so you will not go anywhere. Then there is no point in continuing, tell him easily that it is better to leave the subject for another time when the moods do not interfere to reach a common point.