The inability to be alone, a suffocating addiction to each other, insecurity, lack of personal responsibility, obsessive fear of abandonment. . . These and other stressful dimensions characterize one of the most common diseases, but in turn are less recognized and treated. we’re talking about dependent personality disorder.
To understand this disorder a little more, let’s start with a simple example: Jorge is 42 years old and now has a job interview. In the morning, when he finishes dressing, his wife offers to put on another tie: the one he wears is very dark, very serious, Jorge says nothing, but does not feel good about the comment and is not sure. Soon after, you start to wonder if the shirt and pants chosen match, if the shoes are suitable?
“The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your mind. “Wayne Dyer?
Tormented by doubts and fears, he told himself that if he doesn’t get the job, so, not knowing how, he begins to intensify his negativity, sinking into a circular, repetitive and obsessive dialogue, he begins to imagine that if he doesn’t get the job, his wife will most likely abandon him, his wife, who knows his personality well, says this won’t happen , that she is to support him, that he trusts him and that there is no need to fear. Abandonment.
He seems excited, but Eva, his wife, breathes deep, feeling again the sting of despair. Does she know she’ll have to support you by encouraging you and positively strengthening you throughout the day?Maybe all week you also know that Jorge probably won’t be able to go to this job interview, he also understands that her husband’s behavior is not normal, that sometimes it’s very difficult to live with him and that he feels increasingly exhausted. She thinks this is her personality and these things can’t be changed.
This is the root of the problem: believing that a certain type of behavior is normal and that nothing can be done to change it, we associate these characteristics with a personality model and accept their behavior without understanding that there is actually a disorder, a disease. . A type of behavior that invalidates the person and environment in which they live.
Of the 10 types of personality disorders identified by DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the most common disorder is dependent personality disorder. This is a clinical picture characterized by a significant lack of self-confidence and a need for comfort, safety and support. It usually gives the first signs in adolescence, however, symptoms are more severe and can be seen more clearly after age 40.
On the other hand, as we suggested at the beginning, it is very common for people with dependent personality disorder to ignore that what they have is a disease. Only when they reach the limit, when they realize that they have no control over their reality and themselves, do they seek help.
The cause of this disorder is still unknown. For example, it is known to appear in adulthood and that some patients have experienced an anxiety disorder in childhood or adolescence related to the physical separation of their parents, however, this fact is not always decisive.
On the other hand, the estimated incidence of the disease in the general population is 2% (although it is known that many people cannot always be diagnosed), it is also more common in women than in men, usually this diagnosis is made by a GP who is almost always the first filter, the first step. It refers these patients to specialized professionals.
First, a complete blood test is performed to rule out any hormonal imbalances, then the symptoms and life history of the patient will be analyzed.
As always, in any condition, each patient is unique, sometimes more complications can occur such as depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorder by avoidance, etc. , which further intensify the clinical picture.
“It’s amazing to see how all the emotional problems are in our minds: including addictions, such as alcoholism or smoking. If we have the mental key to freeing ourselves, it’s easy to do so. It’s a change in us, in the way you think?Rafael Santandreu?
However, it should be noted that the combination of psychotherapy with drug treatment is effective in most cases, with cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, focusing on thought patterns, beliefs or inability to make decisions, one of the best-resulting therapies.
We cannot forget that these are long-term treatments, therapies often associated with antidepressants or sedatives, with periodic medical evaluation to analyze improvements. Finally, we must not forget the patient’s family and social support. The closest environment is the third pillar of any treatment, where the patient himself must join continuous efforts, commitment and a clear will to overcome, to fight for his quality of life.
Images courtesy of MEGHAN HOWLAND.