Anger is an emotion that we have all experienced many times in life, about minor problems, such as trafficking, or about more relevant problems: when we are fired from work, for example.
Emotion known as anger, as well as some other emotions, is necessary and has different degrees of intensity. Anger arises from frustration, expectation, or desire that has not been realized.
- “Getting angry is easy.
- But being angry with the right person.
- At the right time.
- For the right reason.
- The right way?It’s not easy at all.
- “.
? Aristotle?
The causes and motives that cause anger can be varied and also depend on each person; because what makes someone angry doesn’t necessarily irritate the other. We’re also concerned about different things and varying degrees of intensity.
Anger happens when we want something that is important to us and there is an obstacle that makes it difficult to fulfill our desire.
For example: we were looking forward to going to the movies, we had already arranged it with our partner that night, and we had already chosen the film; our partner comes to us and tells us he’s so tired he doesn’t want to go to the movies anymore. At that moment, our desire to go to the movies is frustrated and can make us angry.
This is a situation that can occur in many ways in our daily lives, anger in these situations is used to give us energy to face an obstacle, however, many of these barriers are unintentional and it is important to channel this energy so that it does not become destructive and does not torment us.
This energy overload called anger plays a key role in the face of frustration, to ensure the fulfillment of desire when our need is threatened.
The anger that we have can become destructive, that is, there is an excess of energy that allows us to solve things or destroy them even more; It will depend on our beliefs and how we interpret things, on the conclusions we draw about the obstacles that frustrate us.
If we voluntarily assess the obstacle as something that deliberately frustrates us, then the energy will be activated to face a battle.
Our body secretes more adrenaline and norepinephrine to boost our vigilance and activity, so that we can enter a situation of confrontation and struggle.
Depending on our belief in the obstacle, whether frustrating for our desires voluntarily or unintentionally, then our response will be more or less depending on what we may face.
When the obstacle is considered voluntary, anger becomes destructive and we will do to it what we believe it does to us, as if we were at war.
On the other hand, if we are convinced that such an obstacle has no intention and will not prevent the realization of our desire, the answer will be aimed at resolving the situation and as long as anger remains present, it does not become destructive.
Example: if our partner tells us he doesn’t want to do something we may feel frustrated, but if we understand that it’s because we don’t like the idea, our anger won’t be towards the partner and that energy won ‘ It can be used to start a battle against him or her.
On the other hand, if we face this same scene and are convinced that our partner is aiming so that we do not get what we want, that anger will be directed against it. And then a conflict begins and can cause a lot of discomfort.
Every frustration we feel leads us, consciously or unconsciously, to assess the cause that generated it. And we will respond immediately as if it were an adverse intention or not.
Therefore, depending on their experience and personality, some people can live constantly with destructive anger because they interpret all their frustrations as bad, either for fate or for the people around them.
“If our mind is dominated by anger, we will lose the best part of the human brain: wisdom, the ability to discern and decide what is good or bad. “
? Dalai Lama?
Bibliography used:
? Levy, for. The wisdom of emotions. Plaza and Janés.